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I Know I Can't Rely On Anyone Else For Happiness


I almost made this an experience group in itself, but it would be better as a story in this group because the story I am going to share fits well with this group and will probably get more people reading it in a group that already exists rather than in a brand new group. Plus, there are many, many similar groups across the site anyway that could probably be combined into one.

I've learned that I can't rely on anyone else for my own happiness. Well, I CAN, but I know it's not a good idea---not advisable AT ALL. If I hadn't relied on someone else for happiness, I wouldn't be so depressed right now. My boyfriend became my life. I poured my energy into our relationship and making him happy. The scales didn't balance out though, because I was a giver and he was a taker. He didn't do much to try to make me happy. I tried to be who he wanted to be. I just wanted to make him happy and BE happy with him. But he ended up not liking how I became, and he fell in love with someone else. It broke my heart. We had so much planned together, and I'd changed myself and put so much into the relationship....all for nothing, as far as he is concerned. I believe everything happens for a reason though, so it's not all for NOTHING---if anything, I'll LEARN from this.
How strange that I made the source of my happiness someone that didn't even make me all that happy!
But I know even if someone DOES make me happy, very happy--while that's great, they should NOT be my source of happiness. I can be happy about many many things---people, events, places, etc, but I should rely on that which cannot be taken away.
Life isn't all about being happy either, but it's good to be satisfied. If a person is never satisfied--always wanting more, then something is wrong.

"It's not getting what you want--it's wanting what you've got."   ---Sheryl Crow
Brieks07 Brieks07 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 20, 2010

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hi i can relate to these posts! but i dont kno if its me doin the breakups and hurting myself on pupose and putting the blame on the men I think i feel the grass is always greener and end the relationship coz i want more but to be honest i dont actually kno what i want i am a mum of 2 feeling very lonley

some one PLEASE tell me were im going wrong

AnuKat----humans are (generally) made for companionship; it's something most of us want, so it's normal to feel lonely, but sometimes things like that have to happen in order to teach us lessons about life. In this case, it's happiness---finding happiness within, with our without a certain significant other. Glad you're out of that bad relationship! I believe the future is bright. =)<br />
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Stlalane---Thanks for your comment. I'm sorry you had to experience such a negative thing. Again, the desire for companionship is strong. Learn to dance to your own music, to the beat of YOUR inner drum (in other words, follow your heart, conscience, and intuition). Of course, I don't know your circumstances, but if you are in an unhealthy relationship, please try to find a way out. Sometimes it's necessary, I know---I've been in that boat too, but there comes a point when you have to ask yourself if it's worth the emotional damage. Best wishes to you!

i luv somthin about you,you really understand exactly what shoul happen. i am still in the same situation,this guy was my everythin,he took advantage of it to the extend that i feel no pain at all!<br />
Truly,i luv him but i cant tell you this other feelin in me,im just paralyst with dissapointment! im now dancing to his music, reacting to his feelings.im in this relationship only bcos i need one.<br />
i understand hw yu feel!

I have so been there... I relied on my men to make me happy. Now I am without, in a better place though, but sometimes I feel quite lonely and wonder if I should just come to terms that I might not ever find "the one". I also don't think I want "the one's" since I am not good with breakups for the most part. Well, not this previous one from several months ago. That was the worst relationship I could've ever put myself in. Such a cloud.<br />
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Finding happiness within is hard.