Moving On From Personal Traumasmy husband and i have had a very hard time the past couple years...physical injury, fire, surgery, death, all happened within a few months...it has been two years today since his sister passed away while visiting us in our home. She went to sleep on our couch, and did not wake up. That was the last (and hardest) tragedy in a long line of traumas that took over our lives. for a couple of years now, we have struggled emotionally. My husband typically shoves everything down...deep inside...while my emotions tend to come out all over the place...usually in the form of fear and insecurities...I have been treated by a psychiatrist for PTSD, with some positive outcomes, but mostly just for dealing with my grief...i am starting to believe i need more help with anxiety and trust issues...my heart tells me that my husband loves me, and that he would not hurt me (cheating, etc) but my emotional state usually prevents me from living with a secure knowledge of this...i feel like i'm always waiting for the rest of my world to come crashing down. As i said, my husband pushes everything down, and it seems as though he's distancing himself...he usually prefers to lose himself in work, and video games. He is consistently online, gaming, until all hours of the night. (and morning) When he's not on PS3, he's on his iphone, playing more games...it's very hard to not take this personally...it truly is as if he'd prefer those things over being with his family....i know he is depressed, and i've tried to talk with him about this on many occasions...even suggested family/couples counselling. I've now decided that I need to start making more effort to be happy myself...I need to get a life...I'm going back to work soon, and I've decided that I am going to get myself a circle of friends, and a social life. I have to be responsible for my own happiness, and stop expecting my husband to make me happy. Wish me luck!!!
Babydoll42 41-45, F 36 Responses 20 Jan 10, 2012