A Life Of Nothing But Pain

I lived a life knowing nothing but pain. for the first 13 years my dad was physically and mentally emotionally abusive.we didnt have many christmas cause we were poor.i was always left in cars alone.or w/my grandparents for days.or lots of unfamiliar babysitters.i was molested by a baby sitter around the age of 3/4 yrs old maybe 5.when my parents were still together.then at 13 my parents divorced ,and my mom met my stepfather.after two years,i was then molested for three months by my stepfather almost every night when i was 15 ,he used to try and force me to drink alcohol then molested me...my mom knew he came in my room ..of course she says she thought it was to sleep.i reported him only to be put in child shelter christmas day for a month.they all got away w/everything they did to me...nobody not even babysitter paid for what they did to me.after shelter I was forced to live back w/ my abusive father till i was 18.but my stepmom started hitting me to.i ran away two weeks before my 18th birthday.ive lived with friends from age 17 till i was 26.over 8 homes.14 schools.never graduated.im 36 yrs now .And its destroyed me.mentally emotionally etc...still had horrible relationships throughout my life.but i have three little kids now . A husband whose never home .cause he travels for work.is not an angel by far.and i feel like i just hit a brickwall in front of me.
Italianblueeyes Italianblueeyes
1 Response May 14, 2012

wow. its stories like yours and mine that make me wonder how anyone can believe in a just and loving god. <br />
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What do you rely on to make you happy? I only ask because I am trying to answer that question for myself

Hi sorry it took me a while to reply. But what keeps me going is knowing God is the one who got me away from all of it.then gave me all these people to get me through every day for several years without one day of hunger.then he gave me three gorgeous loving children and my grandparents.. Who were parents to me. My closest family.i keep going for God and my children.the thought of eternal damnation by suicide.why risk it.