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It Takes Time

I keep waiting to wake up one day and just know myself. Know myself enough that I can stand up for my beliefs and not be swayed by peoples opinions. But it never happens that way. I wake up day after day expecting to see some change in my life but there is never one. My life is always the same. I know that i have to make the changes i want in order to have the outcome i have always dreamed of but its getting harder and harder to do believe in that. I recently went to Australia for six months and i thought that the trip would enlighten me that i would come back a completely different person. Don't get me wrong the trip did change my life. i was able to gain some confidence but only because i meet a friend there, who has become my best friend. She was the one that taught me how to have confidence in myself and be proud of what i was interested in. But then the dream had to end and i came home. Now i sit at home and my life back home has made it harder to remember what i learned about myself. The confidence i had in myself is slipping away and i don't like feeling like i have lost who i am. i know it is not a one way street, that finding myself is a long journey i just wish that i felt like i was making some progress, that i could find something special in me that i enjoyed.



JDoe1890 JDoe1890 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 7, 2011

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Dear jdoe, thanks for sharing. First I'd like to say that it takes a lotof courage to say whats in your heart, and you are brave for it. The second thing is, you are only a young 'un. I am 50, and still I don't know what my life is supposed to be, and I feel stuck in a place even though I struggle to find my purpose in life. If I were 18-21 I wouldn't be so worried, and at 50 I have come to accept that I can't change me, only God can. But I didn't come to that conclusion until I was well in my young 30's. Even still, I am always learning, always growing and maturing the older I get. And enlightenment has become broader and skilled the older I get. I DO get frustrated because I feel I should be further along in my life than I am, but we are most hardest on ourselves, as you are being. Be patient with YOU, because you WILL find your purpose and what gives you strength. I appreciate your honesty, keep sharing. Hugs, Michelle<br />
PS, a wise person once told me....people come in your life, for a reason a season or a lifetime. But everyone aids in your growth, one way or the other.

Dear jdoe, thanks for sharing. First I'd like to say that it takes a lotof courage to say whats in your heart, and you are brave for it. The second thing is, you are only a young 'un. I am 50, and still I don't know what my life is supposed to be, and I feel stuck in a place even though I struggle to find my purpose in life. If I were 18-21 I wouldn't be so worried, and at 50 I have come to accept that I can't change me, only God can. But I didn't come to that conclusion until I was well in my young 30's. Even still, I am always learning, always growing and maturing the older I get. And enlightenment has become broader and skilled the older I get. I DO get frustrated because I feel I should be further along in my life than I am, but we are most hardest on ourselves, as you are being. Be patient with YOU, because you WILL find your purpose and what gives you strength. I appreciate your honesty, keep sharing. Hugs, Michelle<br />
PS, a wise person once told me....people come in your life, for a reason a season or a lifetime. But everyone aids in your growth, one way or the other.

TO PRettyGirlHatestheworld- Well i was going to a few classes at a local community collage and hanging out with the few friends i have here at home. i have more friends when i go back to school in september. I talk to people and go shopping but it all does not help. i still feel lost and alone . And recently i have had leg surgery so that has kept me mostly bedridden for the last week and a half. i can move around a little bit with support. so i have been feel isolated even more but i am getting better so ill deal as long as i can.<br />
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HUggybear 23<br />
i am almost finished with collage and people are continually asking me what i plan to do. like you i have no F***ing idea. it stresses me out to thing about life on my own. i am not sure if i am ready. Hell i am not sure if i can do it. i am stuck in a major i no longer enjoy and cant do anything about it since i have three credits left to complete. i find the answer to that Question WHAT WILL YOU DO? impossible to answer. i keep changing my mind and feel like i am not good at anything. i keep waiting to find that one thing that sets me apart. I am not sure if it really exist and i am giving up hope on finding it. You are not that hold so dont let your age hold you back. There are very little jobs out there and there is a lot of pressure to get one. Dont feel like it pulling you down, its not. I feel lost and confused like you. Hell i think that if i know myself better i will be able to figure out what i want out of life but that can only be achieve by trying.

I really understand what you're saying because I can relate. I don't know who I am either. I feel like there is something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. <br />
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Have you had a hard time finding where you fit in life as far as a career goes? I'm having a really tough time finding one thing and sticking to it. Because I don't know myself (and am not sure how find myself) I cant seem to confidently make a career choice. Being almost 37 years old doesn't help things either. I feel pathetic. <br />
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Does anyone else feel this way?

aww thats kool you got to go austrailia???,and yea it probably sucked having to be ripped away from your lil vacation,ok well you want to be happier,what do you do during the day??? are you doing anything during the day???