It Takes Time
I keep waiting to wake up one day and just know myself. Know myself enough that I can stand up for my beliefs and not be swayed by peoples opinions. But it never happens that way. I wake up day after day expecting to see some change in my life but there is never one. My life is always the same. I know that i have to make the changes i want in order to have the outcome i have always dreamed of but its getting harder and harder to do believe in that. I recently went to Australia for six months and i thought that the trip would enlighten me that i would come back a completely different person. Don't get me wrong the trip did change my life. i was able to gain some confidence but only because i meet a friend there, who has become my best friend. She was the one that taught me how to have confidence in myself and be proud of what i was interested in. But then the dream had to end and i came home. Now i sit at home and my life back home has made it harder to remember what i learned about myself. The confidence i had in myself is slipping away and i don't like feeling like i have lost who i am. i know it is not a one way street, that finding myself is a long journey i just wish that i felt like i was making some progress, that i could find something special in me that i enjoyed.