Aren't We All?

I think this is pretty self explanatory, but I'll share my personal experience.

I spent a lot of my time as a child alone.  My siblings were older than me by quite a bit and never wanted to spend time with their bratty little sister.  I played alone a lot, and was never allowed to have many friends over because of my parents' work schedules.

As I got older, I tried to break out of my shell.  I made some friends in high school, but as we grew up, graduated, got married, took on careers, we grew apart.  I was married when I was 18 and now, 10 years later we've become that stereotypical "old couple".

Don't get me wrong!  I love my relationship, but we don't go out, don't do much.  I've fallen in to a rut and I'm trying to find my way out of it.  I had a lot of dreams about growing up to become a writer, to travel the world and meet interesting people.  My sights have fallen short and sometimes I feel like I'm stuck going nowhere. 

I'm working on re-learning myself.  Do I like what I do or do I just do it because I'm used to it?  I'd like to seek out new music, open my mind to new possibilities, get a lip piercing if that's what I want and to hell with what others will think.

But most of all, find out what I really want out of life and seek it out.
chaotic chaotic
26-30, F
3 Responses May 30, 2007

Thanks for the responses, especially yours malloy!<br />
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It's funny, because sometimes things are so crystal clear and other times just being in a certain mood muddies that.<br />
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My husband and I have made many many small and not so small accomplishments together. We started with literally nothing and a month after we were married he was in an almost fatal accident. Since then we've bought and paid for a house, established a whole and fantastic relationship, and learned together about things we could have never imagined. It's all relative! I think the biggest drive behind the story I shared was that even though I feel beyond lucky, I feel I've lost a little part of myself along the way. I know we all grow and change, but sometimes I think I just need to re-center and seek out what makes me me unto myself and not just as a wife. I'm not disagreeing with anything you said lol, just adding a little more to the story. Thanks for your insight though; it makes perfect sense and reminds me that I have time to keep searching.

Thanks for sharing. I'd like to share a little that might encourage you to go forward without too much fear.<br />
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I am 57 years old, but I do not feel old. I am continually surprised when I realize that I am much older than I feel. When I look back on my life I can divide it into smaller "lives" or sections, because I have made changes when I saw the need. The first "life" was over around the time I got married the first time at age 31. Then the second "life" included the divorce and a move to a new town. The third "life" had me moving back to my home town, entering a new career, and starting a family business. The fourth "life" had me getting married a second time (in my fifties) and knowing that life goes on, change after change, and that I am in control of my life (good or bad).<br />
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Don't let fear of change be a deciding factor in your life. Change is the only constant. You can control the changes, though, by initiating them. And I am NOT suggesting that you change your relationship. Having a partner to change with is the ideal way to do it. Good luck.

go for it and share your new experiences together, like travelling together.