Odd Realization

I recently broke it off with my former fiancee. I really believe I made the right decision, & expected that even though I'm the one who dumped him (an unusual situation for me), that I'd need some time & space to heal up & move on.

Me & my former fiancee were in a very long distance relationship- in fact, we haven't seen each other face-to-face in a year and a half. I thought that because we haven't physcially been together in so long, it'd make getting over the failed relationship easier... but I'm finding the exact opposite!

In fact, I'm finding it really difficult to deal with this simply because it's been so long since I've seen him. Usually, when you break up with someone, you have this huge break in your life- you don't go the same places as you did with them, you don't hang out with them anymore, you really feel the breakup in every sense. This time around, the only thing that's really different in my life is that I don't have Skype dates during the week, I don't dream about him, & I don't sleep with the teddy bear he gave me. In all other ways, I really feel pretty much the same as I always did.

I guess what I think is going on, is that so much of our relationship was based on thinking about each other and remembering good times we had, that I almost feel like I haven't actually broken up with him. I actually kind of miss the trauma that comes with a normal break up- it kinda helps you move into your new status in life more easily, because it's such a sharp change. This change is sort of slow & fading, rather than quick & breaking. It's a really peculiar feeling.
firefly128 firefly128
26-30, F
Jun 17, 2011