My Husband Had A 2 Year Affair

My husband of 17 yrs was having a 2 yr affair ! I feel so dumb for not even realizing something was wrong! I caught him in January and he broke it off with her, they work together which is even worse! He doesnt seem like he is sorry in fact he acts like nothing ever happened! He told me he was in love with her and that he was thinking of leaving me for her, he said he never felt guilty about the affair but yet he couldnt break it off with her because he felt guilty for her because he was leading her on ! He has recently told me he misses her and is trying to get over feelings he has for her ! But of course he loves me and wants to save our marriage ! I dont feel he is being 100% honet with me, I ask him things and its always I dont remember or he acts like it was nothing! He also downplays everything which kills me tells me the sex was no big deal etc... I am trying to get over this but I dont know how I really need soem advice
mizled033 mizled033
36-40
5 Responses May 15, 2012

It is bizarre, and I get this as well from my wife (who had a unbelievably disrespectful affair)...I wonder if they just don't get it--how to cherish someone, truly love a family, etc, it is like a missing gene or something

My hubby had 8 mth affair with a work colleague! Devestated like you!<br />
He is sorry and affair did end 2 yrs ago but I only just found out! She resigned and left! Can really empathise with you, doesn't get any easier, I don't think can continue with my marriage even though i love him! <br />
Wishing you well and hope you sort it out, sounds like your hubby wants the best of both worlds, you and his mistress...

2 years affair ll not stop when the wife screams. The feelings are already so intense.

well most of the cases the affaire doent stop when the wife finds out. The husband is a lier and ll contenue lie and just hides better. He ll get extra phones, other emails for her run early to home for you etc. Even calls her so saying this is over to calm you.<br />
All lies. Men with misstresses are good liers. Phones at car, extra phone at office and meets the misstress during days.

If you can live for the next few years always feeling heartbroken and sad, always wondering where he is, always doubting yourself ....always living like your life was a lie...and you can smile and pretend that its ok ...then you can stay in the marriage. Staying means lots of pain for you. Cheaters have the fun, they have little remorse except for being caught and its the betrayed who relentlessly suffer. <br />
The other person was right...you dont ever get over it...