What To Do After 20 Years My Partner Has Cheated On Me Dont Know What To Do

i have just recently found out my partner of 20 years had an affair with a woman from half way across the world the used to play cards on Facebook and it started from there he went to Melbourne for his usual football trip normally he goes for 3 days but for some reason he went for 6 days unknown to me he met his internet friend from America there well 2 months latter i received an email telling me they where friends first then best friends then lovers and because he wouldn't move to America she thought i should know he was a cheater he says it was only for sex as we had been having problems at home it has rocked my world i tried to end it my heart is shattered i dont know what to do some days are wonderful but others oh god i just want to wend it . it haunts me i have nightmare i can see her face any advice anyone can give me gratefully appreciated
An Ep User An EP User
3 Responses Jan 14, 2013

Leave. Absolutely. He consciously made the decision to take off his clothes and become intimate with her. And from the sound of it, it isn't "just sex"... She said they were BEST FRIENDS then LOVERS... To me, it's far worse to be in love with someone else, than "just" having coitus...

You deserve better. My advice would be to leave him. It is better to be alone than with someone you can't trust.

Besides, you can't find the right person if you are still with the wrong one.

All the best. xo

There is no advise anyone can give you. You have to go through the motions. so many feelings come up when someone makes this selfish decision in a relationship. You have to decide what is the best for you. Is he really sorry for his actions? Maybe therapy, I know it has worked for me. I am sorry you have had this experience,but I think it is a good opportunity for you to reflect upon your life and determine if this realtionship is what you want or if it is time to let go. I wish you luck and peace of mind.

Let him go. Interesting that you said partner instead of husband. If it is the husband and this has gone on for 20 years you have to do the action of leaving.