I forgave my husband for his affair of one night but im still hurt

Well my boyfriend and I move in together on 2007 it was pretty good and on 2008 we got married and had problems like any many couples my husband started to talk on the party line and talked to different girls wen I found out it hurt me alot that he can spend time to talked to girls then me then I was about to leave him but he began to begged and I gave in I could not talk to know one about it this continue for 4 months until my he stoped then the tables turn it was me chatting with some ppl that I i never meet then he found out that ppl were msg me mad and he mad so I felt bad and I told him that I was sorry but I told him that their no communication between us so we decided to work it out again so we did it was great until I got got UTI the doctor told me it was common for pregnant women so their was a surprise I went home that afternoon made food and fix up the house made a special dinner and later that ninth I told him that I had a UTI and I guess he thought that I was infected or something then he tells me that he was sorry and after that I played along with him and I took the chance and I told him with who he slept with and he didn't told me no names but since he used to work in a ranch he had a 2 hrs brake and he was far away so he would stayed at work and he told me that during his brake he went to a hotel with that ***** until this day I still don't know the name off well I was mad and I would take everything else but him actually been with someone else that killed me and broke me inside and once again I tried to fix our marriage we went to counseling and it was a good feeling for some one to hear you but know I now that I forgave him but can't get over it and I just think about everything and and think about my baby what would be the best for us and I can't even have sex because I just have or think what he is doing to me he did it to her I now that now he has been the perfect husband that I wanted know that we have our baby but I feel is not the same what should I do
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 18, 2013