I am feeling such mixed feelings. Firstly I feel enormous pressure to look beautiful, to make a big effort not to upset him, to make the kids behave and to meet all of his needs. I'm putting this on myself but I feel that if I let my guard down he'll go searching elsewhere again. I am feeling really sorry for the girl he cheated on me with. Or woman rather. They were friends from rehab so I know a bit of her back story- i don't know her, but know of her and have seen her. Caring about her is so weird. Shouldn't I hate her? Shouldn't I want to punch her in the face? My complacency bothers me. I'm sad but not angry. I feel like the anger is hiding inside me and I haven't tapped into it yet. I'm exhausted. Always on edge and always thinking about them together and him talking to her still. It's like I'm holding it all together at the moment but when it all comes gushing out it will be a tsunami.
Tess6 Tess6
36-40, F
2 Responses Jun 22, 2014

and how is he working.on.the marriage?

Hell has no wrath like a woman scorned . . . i feel bad for who ever will be in the way when the brewing storm finally arrives. .