Our foundation was completely destroyed. There is absolutely no trust. I gave him all of me. I loved the vulnerability. We probably won't make it as some marriages do. I am okay with that. My fear is that I will never be able to let go and love again without guarding my heart.
truthandbeauty truthandbeauty
36-40, F
7 Responses Jul 1, 2014

Thanks so much to all of you for the advice. It helps to know that other people know how I feel. I have been trying so hard to keep it together for our two kids (ages two and three). He said he wanted to make it work, but he is NOT going above and beyond to prove his desire to keep us together. He's still lying and being smarmy. We have reached the point where I realize that I can't sacrifice my happiness for the kids anymore. I am being stupid for staying with him. He is verbally abusive and dishonest. We are over for real this time. I feel relieved in a way because I know the pain will ease over time and at least I am not in limbo. He knows my account name and probably reads my posts (he bugged my cell phone), so J, if you are indeed reading this, you ****** up. You hurt me, but what is worse is how much pain you have created for our girls. I have so much hate in my heart for you. You are not a good person and I will not let you bring me down again.

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You will at first if you split!! It is a hard trip either way you go!! I did both!! We broke up for a yr!! He move in with my mom and dad!! It was a lot of work!! A lot of hurt!! You see men don't see sex the same way women do!! They just see it as an release! Not that you are putting yourself in it!! That you are putting the whole you into this relationship!!

We have been together 38 yrs and to this day I still have mistrust in him!! But what you have to decide is !! Is it worth the work!!! It is a lot of work!! Is he going to go the extra mile to show you that you can trust him??? Is he going to do it 5 yrs down the road 10 yr. when one day you see him talking a little close to a women ! Well he blow you off or well he reinsure you well he introduce you? Well he make sure that you are ok with everything!!

Actually what helped me was one day he said something really dum!! And for the first time in my life I hit him!! I couldn't stop!! My angry was so strong that it all came out !! He was a man and took it!! I felt a lot better and then I was able to work on the relationship!!

How long were you married? Are their children? Are you just ready to be done?

Unfortunately you never really will. Im sorry.

Been there.

You may always guard your heart to some extent. But you can get past this to still allow yourself to be open to the right person. Love is still possible. Sending prayers and I hope you find your way. Get help, if you can. A good therapist is worth their weight in gold!

When the trust is gone, regardless of the relationship, then it's over.

You feel betrayed and rightly so. Trusting again on such an intimate level will be difficult but if the right guy comes into your life, you'll find yourself trusting again. It will be a different level, but it'll return.