Tomorrow Is The Day...

Tomorrow is finally the day I have my paraguard removed and me and my husband start trying to concieve our second child. I mean, I realize that it isn't going to happen instantly as soon as the paraguard removed, but I certainly have butterflies in my stomach. I say finally because this is the 3rd appointment that we have made to have it removed, but every time, there seems to be something that happens where the appointment had to be rescheduled. First time the doctor called an hour before, and had to go home sick. I had the appointment rescheduled for last Thursday, but my uncle suddenly passed, and I had to attend his services. O.o I don't believe in coincidences very much, so I think the Universe was testing my resolve :P This week I even absent-mindedly volunteered for a good opportunity for Taste Of Home Magazine that were looking for some culinary students from my school and later soon *facepalm* realized my appointment was scheduled the same day, *BUT* later received a call telling me that they were at full capacity (it's finally going to happen, perhaps?)

I keep thinking about how these feelings of looking forward to being pregnant and being excited about having another child are all new and foreign to me. Our first child, Lorelei, was not a planned pregnancy at an early stage in our relationship (5 months! o.O) It wasn't the ideal situation, where we would have had wayyyy more time to get to know each other and perhaps been married, but I had this intense feeling that it was no coincidence, so we threw our conventions and apprehensions to the wind and made a commitment to each other that we could make this work, and that we would raise this child we created together. Throughout my pregnancy, I was anxious often about the possible outcomes, but I stood my ground and kept faith. The pregnancy and birth were next to perfect, but I struggled with severe postpartum depression, anxiety, and OCD. Through all of that, my now husband (and best friend!) supported me, held me, and stood by me at my worst. Almost 5 years later, we are still together, have been married for 2 years, and we are really blessed with so much joy and love. It's really strange to have to stop and think about how to process new feelings, even the positive ones. It's all new territory for me, but I am embracing it. I have my apprehensions though, mostly about how hard it might be to conceive. I have also read about possible miscarriages if conception happens after a copper IUD is removed (I read its best to wait about 2 months?? I am so impatient). I am trying to not over-think it too much, even though we have been talking and contemplating having another for close to 2 years, until we finally felt like the right time had arrived a couple a months ago. .

Well, keeping positive thoughts in mind and heart, and hoping there is no complications (That doctor should be on their deathbed if he doesn't come in tomorrow :P
imsoskarude imsoskarude
26-30, F
Sep 5, 2012