I Am Trying......

what can i say?......i cant be consoled by the comments that i will be ok some day........i hate with a rage that consumes my every thought........i want to hurt you with the same passion that i once loved you........i think only of your demise....watching you struggle and suffer in agony.......i want everyone that you care about to die slow lingering deaths...you damaged me.....fractured me....broke and twisted me beyond repair.........i see you for what you are........i hate you.....i want to be happy..... but i know that this is not possible now........you have seen to that........i not only hate you..... i hate this new version of myself.......unable to feel....love...think without it becoming  a thought of malice....i dwell in the abyss......to black and to big and to far to fly out of.......i had reached the top.....i had glimpsed at the light....then i saw you again........and you clipped my wings......i fell......i hit the dark endless black of the bottom again.....laying here now...shattered...bloodied, broken and dying.........i shall have to get used to the new me......as this is all i shall ever be.....
sniperblue sniperblue
26-30, F
Jul 21, 2010