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Here Is My Story About My Dad...

Saying my relationship with my dad used to be strained is the understatement of the year.  When I was little we were really close, but that was because he wasn't the primary parent.  My mom was the nurturer and he was the fun and the discipline when need be.  He would spank you with the belt if you were awful and then take you out to swim in the pool afterwards.

Our relationship began to change when I was 13.  On top of me being a hormonal teenager in the throws of puberty, we were watching my mom fight a losing battle to cancer.  We were all stressed.  My dad and I drifted apart because we're both the type of people to hold all of our anger in.

One night all of that pent up anger exploded after my mom was having a bad reaction to a radiation treatment.  I made the mistake of telling my dad to just leave me alone.  He gave me a beating I would never forget.  It was the first time my dad had ever hit me besides just spanking as punishment.  I was scared of him after that.

My mom died in May of 2000.  By January 2001, my dad had moved another woman in.  She was vile, but definitely not the worst one. She was jealous of me and my little brother and made no secret of it, but at times she was nurturing.  When she wasn't acting like a child, she was actually nice to talk to.  Then my dad dumped her and kicked her out a couple of years later when I was 16. 

Then my dad met Lynn, moved her in, and started drinking.  They had the most toxic relationship.  He slowly became an alcoholic.  She was pure evil.  She would throw glasses of whiskey at my dad when they got too drunk.  The next morning before school, I would clean it all up, so no one ended up in the ER getting stitches.  She was mean to me and my brother.  She was very threatening.  She hit her own son.  I've never met anyone with such a black heart.

One night I had a friend staying over and my dad and Lynn got really drunk.  That might be the most drunk I've ever seen my dad.  They were getting very physical, screaming, and being scary in general.  I called my uncle to get my brother and I went to my friends house.  The next morning I returned to find that the cops had been there and my dad, brother, and I had a restraining order against her.  I thought that was the end.

Weeks later, my dad brought her back.  It was just a month or so before my 18th birthday.  We got in our worst fight to date.  I had never been in a physical fight with my dad, but that night I was.  I really don't put either of us at fault.  He brought her back and I said a lot of really horrible things that I still regret and it got out of hand. I left and moved in with my ex boyfriend's family(all of which my dad hated in the first place!) and didn't talk to my dad for 4 months.

Today, my dad and I have made better dating decisions.  Although his current girlfriend gets on my nerves sometimes, she's a decent person.   She doesn't drink or party.  She is a mother and puts her kids before everything else.  My dad doesn't drink like he used to.  I have a boyfriend who gets along with my dad great.  My dad has even given me his blessing for when we decide to get married.

I'm still working through all of the pain my dad put me through and for all of the pain I purposely caused him.  I'm hoping I can continue to nurture our relationship, but there are somedays I just can't forget everything.  I want to be closer to him, but I just don't know how to get past everything and trust him again.

 

tasteofink tasteofink 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2009

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it can happen i know cause i was abused by my dad he hated abusing me but he was abused as a child so he had anger problems but to this day i love him and he stopped abusing me he regrets ever doing it so yes its hard to forgot but u can get in a loving relationship with your dad again he can be your dad once again and u guys can start over