But It Is Very Hard.....

I am really struggling at the moment. I have an 18 year old sister who is mentally unwell. My parents are in denial despite her attempting suicide a few months back. I listen to her talk of how suicidal she feels and it is really tough and hard going. I have no partner or friends to share the load and it is frightening at times to listen to as well as very overwhelming.
I work with young children and that has also been really stressful and busy lately. It is hard looking after others when you yourself don't feel cared about. Sometimes I think my soul is just being drained and I have only been put on this earth to care for others yet I can forget about getting any support for me.
I always support others and care for them. I have done so with a co worker who I have known for years. I have supported her through many a crisis and lately her son has broken his arm so she has been stressed. I decided that I wanted to talk to her about my problems and because she said she was going to come and chat the next day I thought I would wait. At the end of the workday I saw her walk out. I was very upset because of everything that is going on in my life and because she just walked out. I texted her and throughout the conversation, I ended up telling her about everything. She never replied and that was 4 days ago.
I feel incredibly embarrassed and wish I had never said anything. If she comes to see me tomorrow acting as though nothing has happened, I will NOT be able to hold it together. There is only so long you can go without help and support and it hurts that she hasn't bothered to reach out to me the way I always have with her. It seems to be the story of my life but then maybe I am selfish in wanting support especially when I know others are struggling. Either way, I can see myself breaking down in the near future, I am only human and all I am asking for is a kind word and a hug. Is that too much to ask for?
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses May 8, 2012

HUGS to you my dear.

You are welcome sweety.

Wow! ok...<br />
question 1. No. It's not too much to ask for, Ur just asking the Wrong person!<br />
2. A kind word and Hug.... Well Here's a BIG HUGG, and Yes Ur Awesome!<br />
3. Don't have a Breakdown... It just won't help.<br />
4. Selfish? No... Hell No!<br />
<br />
Ok missy, <br />
Here goes. U have a Big Heart<br />
An Open Mind<br />
A Caring Soul...<br />
<br />
And thats good, Just don't expect that from Ur friends. They are ur friends cuz they get that support from U. Thats why they are Ur friends. You just need to get out and find a friend that clicks just right for U. Does that make sense?

Ok, C, that wasn't so hard now was it? Ur already getting started! Folks that will Hugg U and Hold U are right in front of U. U just have to Let 'em in! ;)