DilemmaRight now, I weigh 82,2 kg(180 lbs). I'm 170 cm or 5' 7" tall. That means I have to lose well over 20 lbs, but I'd like it to be more.
This is a dilemma for me. I've gained 35 lbs since I first started taking the birth control pill a little over a year ago. I also don't get much exercise anymore. The thing is, however, that I've gained the weight in the right proportions. I now have large breasts and wide hips. I don't really look overweight, but I know I am. My weight doesn't usually bother me right now, but I know that if I don't start exercising, in a few years it probably will.
So I went and got a gym membership today. I don't mind exercising a lot. I have the time for it and I look forward to getting back in shape. I do, however, have a HUGE problem with dieting.
I like food, I'm not going to lie about that. I love cheese, chocolate, ice cream, Italian food, hamburgers and everything sweet. I absolutely cannot stand anything that's sour. I can't stand tea without sugar. I can't stand yoghurt. I can't stand sour fruits such as oranges, mandarins, etc. And I refuse to go hungry. I refuse to never eat good but unhealthy food again. I refuse to eat like some kind of rodent like my father did when he was losing weight. And I absolutely refuse to skip meals.
It's not like I eat that much. I don't. It's just that I want to be able to eat chocolate or pizza every now and then, even though I know that not giving these things up means it'll take me longer to lose the weight. Seriously, I don't mind going to the gym every day. I'll happily do that. But I do mind going hungry or never eating anything good again.
I also think it's very important that I can accept myself the way I am now. I know that it's better for my health not to be so heavy, but I have the tendency to have obsessions, and I don't want my weight to become one. I know I'm chubby, but I am curvy. My boyfriend loves it, and I'm trying to like it too, even though I am trying to lose some weight. I know how many people ruin their own lives by developing eating disorders and things like that, so I try to remind myself that there are more important things than my weight.
In the mean time, I'll just exercise as much as possible. It should make a difference.
TheRealJade 18-21, F 4 Responses 0 Oct 30, 2011