It's Been Over A Year... I Need Help...

2nd July 2010, marked the first birthday of TRW v. 2.0. I re-birthed myself through two harrowing nights of self harm, drinking and codeine intake. Why? It was the only thing that cleared the pain and detritus of my past. I haven't harmed myself since and never will again.

The loneliness is ever present and I hang on for dear life to the warmth I am shown on rare occasions.

I still feel my bio-father's junkie/rapist pull in my psyche and my body still feels dirty from where my last mistaken lover took his physical pleasures. Society still mistreats me and I STILL have no regularly contactable "physical space" friends. They are all busy, either touring with bands, or being mums.

I am still a sharp-edged mirror who falls in love with any beauty that reflects in me. It's that beauty that keeps me alive.

Please help me find a healing place.
TheRealWoman TheRealWoman
31-35, F
6 Responses Jul 19, 2010

I am sorry I have only just read this story.

"I am still a sharp-edged mirror who falls in love with any beauty that reflects in me. It's that beauty that keeps me alive." You are brilliant, my kindred. I think of you often. I was feeling this same way last night...in desperate need of a healing place. which brought me back to EP to connect with you. & indeed i feel warmth and healing in all that is you and your song. <br />
<br />
"There's a club, if you'd like to go<br />
You could meet someone who really loves you" "I am Human and I need to be loved<br />
Just like everybody else does.." I love you, my dear friend, Felice, you are beautiful. xxxxx

let the time do the job...belive me, try to stay cool, cause every day is awesome, like a brand new book ready to be read, (sorry for the weird english), go outside and take a long walk, it awesome sometimes the stuff you can find while walking, uhm, ice cream does magic, what else, may be this things could sound dumb, but at least i can tell you that they worked cause i have the empiric knowledge, listen some jazz, is cool too, or try to play acoustic guitar, is very relaxing.<br />
In resume, do stuff you usually don´t do, try new things, its fun, and it could be hard but let the past in the past, I´ve been doing with issues like those, but, you just have to forgive and keep going.<br />
Hope it helps!.<br />
P.S. herbal teas are tasty and relaxing too xd.<br />
hope you get better<br />
Sincerly (or the way it is writen xd).<br />
Adrian.

I am sorry for the deep scars that have been placed upon you. I hope that you will be able to heal further both on and off of EP

*HUGE HUGS*<br />
If I ever lose EP, I'll lose my grip. I believe in myself, I just can't believe that those closest to me geographically, actually love me.

Think that we live part of our lives getting over the past and the other part learning to live and be happy..<br />
<br />
Sorry that so much pain has happened in your past, you know how strong you are and I have the up most confidence that you will rise above your past and make the most out of your future...<br />
<br />
((((HUGS)))) my sister of the soul.....