Don't Know What to Do

I've been trying to save my marriage for a long time now. But we always seem to go back to fighting. I don't know what happened we used to be so happy. But the last few years have been hell. We thought about splitting up so many times but don't want to give up. I don't want to get divorced I have two kids to think about but we just can't seem to get along. He blames me for our marriage failing. I admit I haven't been the perfect wife but he needs to take a look in the mirror he's far from perfect himself. Just the last few weeks all he does all day is ***** and gripe about every little thing. He acts like a complete *******. Sometimes I have to just get in my car and drive away and stay away from the house for  a while just to keep my sanity. And sometimes I feel like I'm married to my dad or my grandpa. He acts like an old man. I look at my grandparents and I notice that all the do all day long is curse each other out in French and English and I know that we're just going to end up just like them. It's so sad and depressing. I just don't know how to save this marriage and I'm so tired.

HurricaneLeia HurricaneLeia
26-30, F
1 Response Dec 7, 2008

[[[HUGE hugs]]] I am right there with you. <br />
We have been emotionally unattached for several years, many bad things later and we are in counseling. It is hard. <br />
<br />
On thing I have learned so far, it takes two to make a marriage work. No matter who hard you go it alone, if your husband is not wanting it to work - it will not. <br />
<br />
On regards to constant fighting - we are at that place. I have learned that I need to start putting the relationship first over all conflicts - which is SO hard - and if mates have never been in this place yet, they are going to think I am crazy, but there are times (like today for me) when you HATE your mate -- because you are just so tired of banging your heads together, over and over. <br />
<br />
So - I feel you. Good luck. My biggest problem is letting my husband in emotionally - he has hurt me many, many times, that I completely shut down. <br />
<br />
Keep posting - I will too and maybe we can share some of our challenges with each other -- :)