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I Need Help to Save My Marriage

My wife and I have been married for almost 2 years but weve been living together for about 4 years in the beginning we were head over heals in love with each other and by each others side all day every day. We met at work and worked together. We had alot of passion and romance. I didnt know it but she had a drug problem when I found out I threatened to leave her she said she would quit. She didnt and I stll married her.  She has stooped doing the drugs and has been clean for about 6 months and appears to be done with them for good. I was 40 when we got married I explained to her I waited a long time to find the right person and that I did not beleive in divorce. She promised never to hurt me. She has a daughter who is now 8, we get along almost like father and daughter, even though her real father is still very much in her life, she loves us both almost equally. My wife says she wants a divorce because she no longer is sexually attracted to me and wants that romance andpassion again. She says it hurts her because I am such a good person and father to her daughter. We even took her eldery parents into our house to live with us because they couldnt afford their home anymore. She says she still thinks of me as her best and only friend. She wabts me to accept this because she has, but as I said I dont believe in divorce and I still love her and her daughter with all my heart and dont even want a seperation. We have had some tough times financially lately, but ther has never been any kind of abuse either physically, sexually, or mentally. Can anyone help me stop this from happening.

quietman1 quietman1 41-45 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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If she wants a divorce there is little you can do to stop it. But being a door mat won't change things. You love her, but you do not have to accept her bad behaver. Be firm, you are a treasure and you deserve better than this. Take control of your marriage and tell her to give you both a set amount of time to work things out. Go to N.A. seek counseling, put your needs in the mix. Long marriages never are constant head over heals in love with unlimited sex and happiness. People grow and change. The trick to a long marriage is falling in love with the same person over and over again. ( and don't get divorced.) I wish my husband would love me enough to have my family live with us. Accept my child and her father as family and put up with my addictions. <br />
I don't have any of that but it would be nice to if I did he could handle it. Stay Strong , be firm. You are worth it.

Ask her if she wants to save the marriage. Then seek counseling. Many churches offer marriage counceling for free.