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Sad To Become Fortyish

i'll be 39 this year and sad of turning forty next year..at 38 my life is upside down..I left my career,resigned from a high-paying job of ten years to be domesticated to save my marriage but it didn't do anything. This year before having my birthday in october, I have to start all over again from scratch..I have two kids and they're still so young.  My husband supports them even if we're not together anymore.  We have a business which he handles alone because I was the one who left our home though It's my money which started that business. I earned more than he did before. I'm living with my kids in my mother's home. I really have to get back to work because the money he's giving me is not enough, I am not used of having just a limited amount every week to pay for everything. I hope before turning forty, I can arrange my life the way it should be like those times when am still working, not worrying about money-so I can give a comfortable life to my kids with or without my husband's help because I dreaded everytime he visits and indirectly saying that I'm a big spender. I cannot even buy my cosmetics/toiletries now because I have to prioritze the needs of my children. It's  a big adjustment but I have to deal with it than living with my husband under the same roof to endure the agony of being an unfit wife for a philandering man. I enjoy the company of my kids and  being away from him  is so much refreshing.  I just have to kick back my career and find a nice job  to complete  my life. I hope it happens and wish everything  falls into right places before I turn forty.
0fairytalePrincess 0fairytalePrincess 36-40, F 107 Responses Jun 7, 2010

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I started from scratch again at forty, and as one glimmer of hope for you, by the time I turned 50 I was a new woman embracing a new life ! Oh I should say, I gave up my career (willingly) at 39 when I unexpectedly became pregnant - we had given up - but alas, the marriage declined rapidly because HE wasn't up for the severe change in lifestyle a baby brings to a career couple. By the time I was 50 my child was 10 and less dependent, I was getting used to life as a single parent and embracing it.



All the best, these years will carve out your character and make you a rock solid woman and mother.

its never to late to do anything..

" I enjoy the company of my kids and being away from him is so much refreshing "





yes it is , some people are such a pain

Best Of Luck

I hate to sound hard hearted but you have to think of your kids and your future. If he is running a business set up on your money then see a lawyer and tell him you want the money back. If he is in the wrong in this scenario and has broken his marriage vows then you should not be the one to suffer. I bought up my kids on my own and worked, it is hard work but with a supportive family it is not impossible. You are a strong woman and good things will come your way.

Joyce Meyer says : if you could go to store and Buy a can ormf mirCles

Would you? Well we All have miracles vdcsusd they come in cAns not in cants! I love this saying

You CAN!! believe you can and will

Get up in the morning sbd sAy god I can thru you all is possible and I have the right as your child to receive ! Meditate positive thoughts

Honey ads us a number I M 46 in october I Swear I feel 30 and feeling that has people in aw when I tell my age!!!! I hope your not an atheist ! Lol ... I love Joyce Meyer for positive thinking sbd encouragement!!!! I know you will succeed !

Three things;

1. Talk to a divorce lawyer NOW, even if you aren't getting a divorce so he can provide you with some strategies in case you do decide to divorce.

2. Look up Dr. Wayne Dyer and READ...it's what you need in your life right now.

3. Move on with your life for YOURSELF, it is the best thing for you AND your children.

I know it seems like your getting "old" and your life IS in turmoil right now, but you need to focus on what is good and right in your life. Don't be like me; turning 50, one son dead one living across the country with your only grandchild that you've never met, all alone. All because I didn't take the time in my life to stop and consider ME in my life. Good luck and hugs!

I didn't get married till I was your age to my wife who is only a few years younger than I am. We now have two wonderful daughters who will be leaving for college in a few months. I've been laid off from several jobs in a row and had to take a large pay cut to get my present job that I've been at for over two years now without a raise. So life has had it's ups and downs for me, but it's been worthwhile. If I could find love and start a family in my middle age for the first time I'd hope others could also for the second time. Good luck and bless you.

I know this is old post, but your story inspired me if it makes you feel better I am going to be twenty eight years old. I haven't ever had a girlfriend .I work a dead end job to pay the bill. I finished college with a BA and am working in food service. I never knew what I wanted to do with life. I feel I dont fit in to the world. I have a few friends a car hopethis helps

I think at forty, your really begins. The same thing happened to me at around that time, and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Yes, like you I have to change my priorities, but it's a small price to pay. I went from living in a 3 bedroom bungalow to social housing. I still don't regret it 4 years later

Good LUCK, make is come true