Struggles

First off let me start off by saying I am 25 I have been with my husband for over 5 yrs and married for 2. I always thought that there was something wrong with me when I didn't get pregnant during the time we were dating ( I mean really 5 yrs unprotected sex and nothing) and being hispanic all my family would ask when we were going to have kids and our answer was always the same when the time is right.

Earlier this yr my wonderful husband agreed that we could go to OBGYN to see what was going on when we told him we have never been pregnant he told me it was very likely that I have PCOS which means I dont ovulate every month. He assured me that with medication I would be able to have a kid by next year. Not to long after this I was diagnosed with Diabetes which I later found out that could also be contributing to me being unable to have children. I am unable to start anything until my diabetes is under control but with the stress of everyday life seems to be harder everyday. Later I found out that it could be vary likely that my kid has diabetes as well since it runs deep in my family and I sat there wondering could I really do with and possibly give my kid diabetes?

Please understand I know my case isnt as serious or extreme as some of the stories that I have read but just seeing everyone I went to school with having kid after kid and seeing baby things everywhere and pregnant women depresses me. I am truly happy for them I really am but what makes me mad is seeing moms abandon their kids to go and party, kill their kids ect when there are so many of us that want kids but aren't blessed. My husband and I have talked adoption but he wants a kid of his on really bad how can I look at the man that I love knowing that there is a good chance I cant have one? All I have ever wanted is a family and I know that we are one and we have our dogs but its not the same. I sit there and I just feel so defective. Its hard to find people that understand when I would talk to some of my cousins about they this all they could say is im sorry i dont know what to say I just need someone to vent to someone who understands.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.
mrstaylor11 mrstaylor11
22-25, F
Nov 28, 2012