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Unsure About My Future

 Hello, if you look at some of my recent stories on this site I haven't been in the best place mentally. Well I'm off my medication now and I'm starting to get back on track. And because of this experience I'm left thinking about a lot of things concerning my future.

 Since my anxiety had a good hold on me for about two months, I missed the chance to apply to universities. But at the same time I'm not sure if I want to go to a university first. Then again I've had this negative attitude toward going to a community college. There's nothing wrong with them, but I just don't feel like sticking around my hometown for much longer. My college plans have change several times since 7th grade, when the idea was glued into my brain. I've always been told that I'm smart, mature, thoughtful, organized, and a good writer, but lately that stuff doesn't seem to matter to me very much. I've just been feeling lost and this couldn't have come at a worst time. I devised a plan to start applying next year and in the mean time working on my community service hours and gaining scholarships. I'm not it would work, but I like it so far. It'll give me time to work and get some money, maybe even give me time to finish some novels that I've been working on.

 Another issue that's bothering me is mostly about my family. My dad, who I've lived with my entire life, wants me to be closer to his side of the family. The trouble is that I've only known them for maybe two years now. They're nice people and most of them are very successful, but they seem so waspy and passive-aggressive. A completely different perspective from the family I was raised with. I'm more familiar with my mother's and my sister's side of the family. My mother's side are very free-spirited, I suppose. They have a lot of issues, but they seem to be very connected with the supernatural and tend to focus more on fun. Well for the most part. The women are dominate in that family and the men tend to change very quickly.They're all very creative in their own way. I'm more of a writer, but I like to sing, draw, dance, and play music. My sister's side is very varied. They're a little more into fun, but tend to be strict sometimes. Now given all these family influences I can't really pick a side. So I've decided to just stay neutral for now, but I have a feeling that might bite me in the butt later on.

 Sorry for being so long winded, had to get that out of my system. blush
toohonestforowngood toohonestforowngood 18-21, F Dec 9, 2010

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