Uncircumcised Filipino-american

Being Filipino, it was already unusual to be uncircumcised. I think my father wanted me to be left uncircumcised when I was born so that I can experience the "rite of passage" when I turned 12. Honestly, being uncircumcised was never a big deal the first 8 or so years of my life. We moved to the United States when I was around 5 years old. In kindergarten, we still had a private bathroom to use in the classroom. It wasn't until first grade that I started having to use the "public bathrooms". Even then, I was totally unaware of the significance of the fact that I was uncircumcised. Incredibly, everyone was rather private in their use of the urinals at school and I never saw anyone else's penis nor would I let anyone else see mine. My discomfort in using the urinals had nothing to do with my foreskin, rather just the mere possibility that someone would see my penis in general

It wasn't until I started third grade that my father started bringing up the topic that when I turn 12, he was going to take me to the doctor to get circumcised. That was really the point when I started to wonder why I couldn't just leave my penis the way it is. I actually had never even seen a circumcised penis (not even my own father's penis) until I saw a classmate's penis one summer when a bunch of us went to a mud park. When we got back to our friend's house to clean up, he undressed in the garage and I saw it. I never saw anything like it, but all of a sudden those penis drawings someone made in one of my school books made sense. I would always draw a penis just as a U with a pee-hole on the tip. But those drawings I saw marked a line going across about 1/3 the length from the pee-hole and some even colored the part below that line a red color.  I’ve even heard the term “purple headed dragon” and never really understood the connection.  As far as I knew, my penis was one color from base to tip.  But, when I saw my classmate's penis with the mushroom-like head being a reddish color, I realized mine was really different.  From that point on, I just assumed that ALL boys around the world are circumcised.  After all, all boys in the Philippines are and now here was proof that even American boys are too.  From that point on, I made even more sure that no one will ever see my penis.

In 6th grade, my dad had me see a urologist to get a circumcision scheduled.  I remember the visit because this was the first time I was told that I should be able to retract my foreskin further than I was able to at the time.  From my research later in life, I now know that I did not really have phimosis.  I could retract my foreskin to expose about half of the head and the rest was still attached to head.  I really had no idea there anything more under there.  The doctor tried to force it down even more and it was quite a painful experience.  Even my mother thought the doctor was a bit rough on me.  At the end of the visit, the doctor tells me that I would need to retract my foreskin completely otherwise I will need be circumcised and that we will see me in a week.  It was desperation time.  I really did not want to get circumcised and I had a week to secure my fate.  So, every shower I would try to pull it back and it just would not seem to budge further.  One life changing event occurred in this ordeal, however...my first ******.  I remember one day being so frustrated that my foreskin wouldn't retract, that I just sat there pulling and pulling and pulling it as far as it would go until all of as sudden I had this uncontrollable feeling to urinate.  I freaked out thinking I was about to pee on the floor.  I ran over to the waste basket and stood there while my groin contracted and released uncontrollably.  I was waiting to see the pee come out, but nothing happened.  Eventually, the feeling of needing to urinate subsided and I was like, "What the heck just happened?"  That got me curious and I was determined to see if I can do that again.  By the end of the week, I was still unable to retract my foreskin as far as I needed to and I told my mom I was unsuccessful.  My parents could tell that I was very unhappy about the idea of getting circumcised and my mother definitely did not want to take me back to that doctor.  So, they both decided to leave the issue alone and let me decide for myself if I ever wanted to have it done.  It was a relief although for several years afterwards, my dad would still bring up the reasons why being circumcised was better for me in the long run.  I just ignored him for the most part, but it did leave some resentment in my heart for years.

With that burden off my shoulder, I had one main thing to tackle.  How can I reproduce that incredible urge to urinate without actually urinating?  So, I re-enacted the scenario once again, pulling my foreskin up and down until a tingling sensation started to build and then this explosive urge to urinate overcame me once again.  I was still too young to create ***** and *********, so nothing came out of my penis.  I became very fond of this rather useless activity that ended in the most satisfying feeling in the world.  Since I hadn't started *********** I would do it at every private moment I had and not leave any evidence of my activity.  With all that activity, I started to notice that the corona of my glans was starting to show until finally one day I was able to completely retract my foreskin.  I was so surprised as to how much my penis, with the foreskin fully retracted, looked like a circumcised one.  This happened just before I started junior high.  Luckily, they had already put a stop to group showers so I really never had to worry about it.

However, for some reason around that time, I started to consider getting circumcised anyway.  But, there was trade off (at least at the time I thought there was).  I believed that my ability to create those ******* was solely due to the fact that I had a foreskin to pull up and down.  I honestly had no idea how circumcised boys could ever achieve those sensations.  I was so naive that even when other boys would joke around about "jacking off" I never associated my activity as being what they were talking about.  I really though that if I got circumcised, I will never be able to have achieve those sensations ever again.  But, I had somehow convinced myself that I was making the right decision to have it done and it would make my father happy.  So, I told my parents to make an appointment with my doctor so I can get a circumcision scheduled.  I *********** as much as I could before that appointment came around because I though that once it happens this would be the last time.  When I saw the doctor, I was actually really surprised that he would refuse to recommend a circumcision.  He told me that my penis was fine the way it was and there is nothing that needs to be done.  I was actually quite upset about it at the time.  But that meant that I could keep ************, so I was happy about that.  Needless to say, by the time I finished Junior High I learned enough about sex and how all boys, foreskin or not, could acheive ******.  I just figured it must be pretty difficult without a foreskin.

In high school, I would hear people's negative reactions to uncircumcised penises in conversation and I just assumed that that was the way everyone felt about it.  One day a discussion in biology class started off about the theory that evolution could get rid of certain parts because it was biologically unnecessary.  So, the question was brought up that if we considered the foreskin useless and removed it from generation after generation, then couldn't we assume, under that evolutionary model, that one day boys should be born without foreskin?  I remember one boy in the class yell out, "Foreskins are gross and dirty!".  And another boy yelling back, "No they're not!"  I was surprised because that was the first time I ever heard anyone publicly defend the foreskin like that.  After class, a friend of mine who I've also known since junior high, came up to me and said that he doesn't understand why people have such a problem with uncircumcised penises.  "There's nothing different between the two when the foreskin is pulled back", he said.  He asked me if I was circumcised and it just automatically came out of my mouth as I told him that I was.  He was actually shocked with my answer and he said he thought only Jewish people got circumcised, but that seems that a lot of non-Jewish people get circumcised, too.  He tells me, "I'm not Jewish,  I still have my foreskin."  I was completely surprised by that: a white, born in America, boy telling me he was uncircumcised!  I told him right away that I lied, “I was uncircumcised, too.”  That was the first time in my life I ever told anyone that I was uncircumcised and the first time that I knew for a fact that someone else was, too.
potatohead19 potatohead19
31-35, M
2 Responses May 10, 2012

You're lucky it wasn't forced upon you and also that you did not give in to peer pressure. You had the choice !
Being a Hindu from India I am uncircumcised and the majority are uncircumcised but Muslims being in the minority are circumcised. When in school I saw a freshly circumcised penis of a muslim friend and the sight was shocking. At first I thought he had been involved in some unfortunate accident but was even more shocked to learn that Khatna (Circumcision) is a deliberate practice and compulsorily enforced in Muslims. I learnt that although my friend did not want it done but had no choice!

Keep it that way. Circumcision was meant only for the Jews.