Standard Office ProceduresIn almost all the jobs I have had, the office is run by a set of standard instructions.
These instructions include how to type a report, how to file a report. How to use the phone.
Who to call if your computer is malfunctioning. You get the idea. Everything has a written document explaining how to use it.
One day a new employee, fresh out of college, was having trouble with his stapler. We jokingly asked him if he loaded it right.
He said he thought so. "Did you follow the Standard Job Procedures (SJP) for staplers"? He looked confused. "Do they cover that?"
Oh yes we replied. We handed him the 300 page document and told him to read up on staplers. He looked like he was gonna cry.
"It's in there, you just need to find the right page", we told him.
A few minutes later our boss came in and saw Jimmy reading the SJP. "What are you doing?"the boss asked. "Where is that report I asked for" Jimmy Replies. " I am looking up how to use a stapler" he proudly proclaims. Then it dawns on him. Duh! I have been owned!
We ran from the office laughing our butts off.
It sucks to be the new guy.