Lost Your Job Like Me? Use Positive Self-talk To Keep A Positive Outlook, In The Face Of Negativity.

Most of us have no control over an employer’s decision to either fire or lay us off. But we all have complete control over how we allow ourselves to react to such decisions, and over what we will do after the decision has been made. You’ve heard this before, but happiness really is a choice. It may sound corny and cliche, but it’s true. We don’t always get to choose or decide what happens in our lives, but we can decide and choose, to a great degree, how we will react to it. And positive self-talk can help.

Abraham Lincoln is often quoted as having once said, “A person will be just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” The idea behind this quote is that you—and only you—can control how you allow yourself to think about something. How you allow yourself to think about anything that happens to you will exert influence over your state of being, and this is actually good news. Why? Because it says you have a great amount of control over how you feel and how you behave in response to what happens in your life.

There is no doubt in my mind that being fired or getting laid off from a job is a very stressful event. I've been out of work for over two years, so I know how stressful and emotionally draining it feels. I know how depressing it is to hear one news story after another telling you that the outlook for jobs, now and in the near future, is very bleak. Even when you hear news that the economy is showing signs of repair, or that new unemployment claims are on the decrease, if you're still out of work with no good job prospects in sight, it doesn't really sound like good news to you. It seems like a recipe for unhappiness. After losing a job, your financial future is in jeopardy, and you're facing the possibility of some very trying times ahead—in all aspects of your life. Still, you have a choice: You can choose to allow yourself to wallow in self-pity for many days, weeks, or even months, or you can tell yourself that you have exactly 24 or even 48 hours to feel bad—to go through a natural process that might involve denial, anger, and sadness. After that, the positive thing to do is to tell yourself you must recover from the shock, and then get busy doing all you can to change your situation.

It doesn’t matter if you loved or hated your job; the fact of the matter is you must accept that that job is no more. Instead of allowing yourself to mentally complain and whine on and on about your situation, you should use your precious time and your mental energy to remind you of your self-worth and of your value as a worker. When you're unemployed, it is very tempting to beat up on yourself and to take your employer’s decision to let you go as an indictment against you as an employee, a professional in your field, or even as a human being. But, even if you feel that you need to shoulder some of the blame for your situation, still, you should keep in mind that your ability to bounce back from your setback is going to be related to how you talk to yourself, and what you are able to get you to do to help you.

My faith, as a Christian, helps me put job loss and everything else into perspective. And while I don't mean to preach to anyone, I do feel that having a strong spiritual "Center" helps tremendously. It helps me to know that, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." My faith helps me pounce upon and defeat thoughts that, without it, I might allow to beat me to a pulp by allowing negative self-talk to rule my days. Instead, my spiritual beliefs provide me with a foundation for using positive self-talk to keep my mind from dwelling on negative thoughts.

I know from my own experiences that positive self-talk can help you "rethink" your situation. It can help you develop a plan for handling your life as best you can in view of the situation you are facing. Instead of whining and throwing one pity party after another for yourself, review and then rewrite your resume (or, if you can afford it, get a company to do it for you). Create three or four “versions” of your resume matching different careers or jobs you may be equipped to pursue based on your interests, experience and/or education. If you believe that you need more education in order to be considered for your dream job, look into grants and loans you may be able to get to help you go back to school. If school is not an option right now, network with family members and friends who may be able to help you find a job. And don’t just wait until you see a job ad or announcement before you apply for one, be proactive! Go ahead and blast your resume to companies you think you would love to work for, whether or not they have posted a job. Everyone is applying for the jobs that are listed on Monster.com and other popular job-listing websites. And even though you should apply for those jobs too, don’t let them be the only jobs you apply for. Apply for jobs you think you are qualified for, and for those that might be a level or two above where you think you are.

The trick to finding happiness when you're unemployed is to talk yourself into working, every day, to do all you can to change your current situation. Instead of sitting around the house munching chips and whining to anyone who'll listen, get to work on your resume, make a list of companies you’d like to work for, go online and research business opportunities you might be able to take advantage of. Talk yourself into doing something positive to change your situation. The only difference between trying and failing is trying. And as long as you’re trying, you have at least a fifty-percent chance of changing your predicament, whereas if you don’t try, you have a hundred-percent chance of not changing it. Read more from me at www.beaxrivers.com.

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows." -- Helen Keller
author2 author2
36-40, F
3 Responses Feb 26, 2012

Just sending resumes for advertised jobs doesn't work well. One must network and connect with people to try to tap the 'hidden market'. I don't have a strong Christian background but want to believe that we attract things ba<x>sed on how we think and are. It's hard. I have days when I'm really depressed and can't stop crying but I don't stop trying. I'm lucky to be married to a wonderful man but I do feel bad about not being able to contribute much.

Believe me, Hereweare99, I do understand. I cross that same bridge every day too, but I make a choice to continue to believe in positive thinking. Nothing else helps the situation. How can negative thinking help? The only good thing you can do with negative thinking is to turn it around, steering negative thoughts into the realm of constructive criticism, but then--that makes it positive thinking, doesn't it?<br />
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The way I see it, it's bad enough to be unemployed, and you're the last person you need to be beating up on you--especially when you know you're doing all you can to find work. I know how it makes you feel to keep trying with no success. It makes you entertain thoughts of worthlessness, and it forces you to begin to question whether you're "unemployable." Ultimately, you do begin to question your sanity and everything else you thought you knew about yourself. With all that said, I have to come back to believing that positive thinking is still all I have left. Believe me, I get to the place where hope is gone every other day, but because I choose to believe in myself and in the power of positive thinking, I find a way to find more hope. I lean on friends and relatives sometimes for support, I cry out to the God I believe loves me. I look for what He is trying to teach me, because surely He is not bringing me through this dark valley for no reason. I went on a job interview today, after months of no interviews. I prepared for it, as if it were the best job in the world, and it was one paying about half the annual salary I earned on my last job. But I was excited about it, truly excited. I interviewed with the organization's executive director and the chairman of the board, and they talked to me for two hours. Two hours! That's unheard of. At the end of the interview, they gave me a tour of the facility. It seems hopeful, but I know it still could end with me not getting the job. And I will continue to be positive, and I will continue to look, and I will continue to go on interviews. I may lose my home in several months if I don't find gainful employment. But I will not lose hope. There's nothing to be gained from losing hope, so I will pray for me and for you, and I will continue to love God and myself, and I know I will be all right. And so will you.

You are exactly right about " as you’re trying, you have at least a fifty-percent chance of changing your predicament, whereas if you don’t try, you have a hundred-percent chance of not changing it"<br />
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I know doing nothing, complaining about being unemployed will get me no job. However after one tries for so long, applies and applies and still nothing it is very easy to think that trying and doing nothing is the same. <br />
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There is the old saying "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?" <br />
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Sometimes I question if I am insane, I keep applying hoping for work, but only getting rejection.