Approaching The 2yr Mark

i lost my job in march of 2011. i was devastated. i sincerely thought i had found the perfect job. they paid me well, & seemed to appreciate my efforts & respect me & what i contributed to the business. i was there for 2 yrs. during that time, i had received $2.50 in raises, & gone from part time to temp full time to the only permanent full time employee in the office. i was the first person in the 6 yrs the office had been open to receive a performance bonus. i could see myself eventually retiring from this place. i could see myself getting my daughter a part-time job there when she's old enough, to give her a head start in the field, if she chose to pursue this field. i was a year away from being ready to buy my own home. i was so content. then one day, the doctor tells me his wife/ office manager was going to write me up for the way i scheduled an appt. i had scheduled similar appts several times in the past, & all of a sudden it was so wrong she had to write me up, & the way she worded the write-up was that if i committed a similar offense in the future, it would be considered a voluntary resignation. similar offense? i told her i was not comfortable signing this warning, without a written scheduling protocol in place, signed by everyone on the staff. i told her i would be more than willing to sign it once they had that in place. she replied no, they don't have to do that, they were doing me a favor by writing me up instead of firing me, they were an at- will employer & could hire & fire as they pleased. i again stated i was not comfortable signing without a set protocol in place. she said that if i didn't sign it by the end of the day, i would be voluntarily resigning. end of the day, he asks if i signed, i again stated my reason, he called his wife, then came back to me & said he needed my keys. wouldn't look me in the eye. i received unemployment. but i wasn't able to get another job, no matter how hard i tried, no matter where i applied. i got very few interviews. i received assistance from the workforce development office in my area. i ran out of unemployment extensions in september. the only reason my rent is paid is because i received a bulk child support payment that's been owed to me for almost 5 yrs. in january, i am moving to rhode island, into a 3 room apartment with my mother. i haven't told my daughter, she will be 7yrs old in a few wks, that we are moving. i haven't told my best friend we are moving. i put off telling her, because she was pregnant, high risk, plus she was dealing with alot of crap from her family & the baby's father. she delivered last wknd, 3 wks early, & i still haven't told her, because she is suffering from post- partum depression. the only people who know are my landlords, my family, & my daughter's teacher. i emailed her asking for advice on how to tell my daughter, because i know she's going to be very upset about it. i am very upset about it. i'm sick over it. i get migraines almost every day, i've put on almost 20lbs since i made this decision, i have no motivation to do anything except eat, sometimes i feel sick to my stomach & don't even want to do that. i go for days without showering, or brushing my teeth, i'm not even going to say what my legs look like, i haven't shaved in so long. i saw the doctor i worked for in walmart on thanksgiving night, & it took all my self control to not go over to him & kick him in the balls. i know its irrational, but i feel like its his fault, the situation i am in.
3rdtimes 3rdtimes
31-35, F
2 Responses Nov 25, 2012

Do not give up, you need to hang in there. It sucks, you need to tell your friend now. and make contact with the Rhode Island Workforce Development now. Being unemployed hurts, one thing even though you feel dumped on, do not bad mouth the employer. When you move, plan to make contacts with social services ASAP. Remember you have a child who needs you now, not later. In my first job I was fired one of the reasons was being in my classrom 30 minutes before class started, I talked about this event and realized that it hurt me in my job search..

I totally know where you are coming from. I was fired back in july 2011. I did'nt get another job until september 2012. I was applying the whole time to no avail. My unemployment ran out and I had to apply for government assistance which I never had to do but I had to do what was best for me and my two little girls. (3 & 6) I know how hard it is to find a job. The most humiliating part is getting prepared for the interview, burning gas, or using your little bit of money to get there, putting on a happy face, answering all those questions, only to get a email saying a generic rejection. Its so frustrating. Maybe moving to another state with your mom will be the best decision and you can finally get back on your feet. I wish you and your little girl the best of luck. Take care.