What Is Left?

Graduated in 2008 and haven't found work since.
I listened to reports about the difficulties recent grads face finding work in this economy.
I wasn't only a recent grad, I was a mature student and had previous work experience in various capacities.
Still, although my resume in total would be about four pages, I can't even get a phone call.
I was told to dumb down my resume.
I've done that.
Still nothing.
Falling on hard times has put me in public spaces with a lot of people hired to help people like myself.
I've met too many of them that only leave me wondering why they are working and I'm not.
I have the skills and experience to be their supervisor at the very least.
Yet, here I am.
My life has been on hold for four years.
Four years of sending out resumes, calling HR departments, networking with people that used to know me...
I sleep most of the day now because there's nothing else to do.
Neighbours want to know why I never go out...why they never see me.
I don't feel alive.
I tried to lead by example by completing school to better provide for my child.
This has turned into a pretty bad message for them because all my hard work has meant nothing.
They want to know when I'm going to remarry and quite frankly, I don't know.
You don't want anyone to feel like they have to carry you. It's not the way I want to start a relationship.
I thought things would be different in my life because I'd worked so hard to succeed.
It has meant little.
I came from a place where people barely finished high school, never leaving their childhood community.
Now, they know nothing better and because of that, aren't living with the anguish I feel on a daily basis.
I thought I'd get a second chance at love and parenthood but it's all seeming like a dream now.
My education and experience tell me that I'm at a critical point in my life. My body is giving up on me no matter how hard I try to keep going.
I believe that people cease to exist when they have no purpose.
I feel I'm disappearing.

An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 9, 2013

well, sleepin all days not gonna solve anything?! Might wanna try something more entrepreneurial......at the very least get together with other like minded people & start bouncing ideas off each other.....I'm employed but despise my job so i'm always on the look out for ways out.........so far: courier business, detail shop, sellin auto parts, medicinal marijuana & even as an exterminator.....one started already.......trust me, if I can do it, so can you.......GL kiddo

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