Just So ******* Tired Of....

Waiting everyday for something to pop, everyday im proactive about trying to get gainful employment.  Everyday im on the computer searching everywhere, shooting at least a hundred emails out, sending out follow ups, calling people, just doing everything I basically can to get something going, because no one's gonna notice if I just sit there right?

So, my wife, everyday this week, has been just non stop, hounding me about the process, how was this, how was that, did you call this person, did you email this, did you leave a voicemail, blah blah blah, it just gets under my skin and i've told her, to stop doing it repeatedly because its now getting to the point where I want to just break something.  So what does she do?  She attacks something else, did you do the laundry?  Did you sweep the floor?  Did you wash the dishes?  The house is ******* spotless day in, day out.  Im sorry but knowing that employment is more important, i'd give a flying **** about the state of it, but thats what I get everyday, just another attack.  Whenever something pops, I'm getting out.  I didn't get married to get badgered everyday and feel unappreciated.

mellotronics mellotronics
26-30, M
10 Responses Jun 28, 2007

I understand where your coming from. My ex girlfriend I was living with used to ***** constantly. I tried to find work right out of school but no jobs. I tried and it was hopeless. I was like you, I looked online and my ex would use MY computer for her job and drive MY car to get everywhere. I was stuck being the "house husband" taking care of her dogs that **** all over the carpet. If I got on the computer late she wanted me to come to bed. If I got up early the dogs would bark and wake her up. If she was up and working then I had to entertain the dogs so they wouldn't bark. Then I was doing yard work and cleaning the house and doing laundry. Plus doing the dishes. Which was never right for her. Cooking her/us lunch. All the time thinking "How in the hell is this bringing in any income?" Then she would work 18 Hrs a day and I never seen her because she was locked up in a room all day long. I wanted to get a job so she could cut back on her hours and I could fill in the slack. Now I look back and I am glad she is gone because we would never have been able to stand each other by now.

I sympathize with you because I've been unemployed for a year and a half. I am single but my mom used to call all the time and nag me like your wife is doing to you. It wasn't too bad after I told her that she needed to get off my back about it but I'm about to move in with her and I know it will be hard all over again.<br />
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I read where someone told you to go physically to places but that's becoming impossible now because most everyone wants you to apply online. Many companies are understaffed because they've had to lay people off and they can't handle all of the people who are looking for work right now.<br />
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It'll get better for all of us but I hope it's sooner than it seems.

My husband sometimes gets on my case. I DON'T Keep the house spotless, but I did take the kids out of daycare and send out resumes all night. Every time I get the house clean and sit down for a minute, the kids tear it up again- ARGHHH.<br />
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Being unemployed is so much harder than being employed. I have to plan a day that teaches and wears my kids out without spending anything. I try to look for jobs at night. Every time I get an interveiw, I have to do some sort of project (that takes 15 hours to do), so I have to constantly have an updated portfolio for all jobs that I might apply for. We've tried to save by cutting out dry cleaning, so my husband comes home, turns on the TV and asks that I iron his clothes. You never get a break, because you are not making money. In turn, unless you are doing everything else (also watching kids 24/7), then you aren't doing anything.<br />
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My dad was unemployed for a long period of time. My mom, sister, and I constantly harrassed him about not having a job. When I look back on it, he made sure he was at all of my sister and my events, he made sure that we had shiny shoes and clean clothes. He managed my sister's bills for her when she moved out on her own. Overall, we were very well taken care of BECAUSE he was home. Well, I guess paybacks are a *****! All of you stay home moms- I have a new and honorable repect for the housewife. It's not only a hard job, but you never get a break. I can't wait to get a job again where I can relax- LOL.

gosh, your situation reminds me of when i moved in with my mother after a bad job situation. moved in because of financial problems. what a mistake that was. the harrassment was unbearable.

My man, my man!! Can I tell you I have felt the same?! I wasn't as deep as you. hahaha...it was just my long-time girlfriend that was exactly the same way! She drove me just about insane nagging me to get a "real" job. <br />
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See the thing is that I am an entrepreneur and I had various businesses that I would invest in and participate in and they didn't show any significant profits for months. It was so bad that I was to the point where I could barely afford to pay my rent and I really did need a job that could give me a steady paycheck. But the thing is that I had too much debt and desire to live paycheck to paycheck. So I stuck with my businesses and all she did was fuel my fire. It forced me to succeed, and be able to throw it all back in her face. I wasn't an actual **** about it but now she she goes to work and has to take all the crap from her bosses and i'm home with my dog hanging out and doing what i want to do.... I'm pretty sure she feels like the stupid one. <br />
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I just suggest laughing it off. Don't let her get to you. Some women are never happy and like to bug about everything. You could get them a diamond ring and they can complain about it not fitting the right finger correctly. You just gotta let it go, or find a new mate (might be harder for you so you may wanna work it out). <br />
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Just relax and take sometime away from her and think of what you like doing. Think of what would make you happy. If you do something you love, then you never work a day in your life. Figure it out, and if there are no jobs (considering the major job freeze) for what you want to do...make one. And if you need money to do what you want to do, then find a "vehicle" that will allow you to have that in the near future. <br />
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I hope I was able to help you out. If you need any advice or want to talk to someone specifically, feel free to contact me by email or phone (I'll give it too you in an email). Hope all is better my man!<br />
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La Broi Walton<br />
Lbwalton@gmail.com<br />

You have my empathy, brother. When I was laid off a few years ago, I was manical in looking for a job, but each day felt like a year. And my wife was always asking, pushing and making me ever more edgy. I tried to explain that her constant hounding wasn't helping, but as antiyou said, she's frustrated and very nervous too. I'd wait for a less stressful time - like the weekend -and talk to her about how hard you're trying and that her overbearing attitude is really not helping. Plus, with this being the worst economy in 30 years, it's not like you'e alone. People are scared shitless and huge layoffs are announced every day. My own income is less than half what it was a year ago.<br />
Just keep up your spirits and remember that it's OK to feel bad, but you need to keep giving it your all.<br />
Good luck.

You might also try getting out and going to the companies you think might need you and physically asking for a job. Or go to a temp agency. That's how I got my last job and I love it. They have a better chance of finding people who need your skills. Computers are great but nothing beats letting people see you in person. And till you find the job you want, anything should do. Macdonalds will bring in a check. I know people hate low paying jobs but the bills have to be paid no matter how it bruises your ego. A friend of mine got fired at our job and now he's working 3 part time jobs to make the bills and they are all far below his standards and skills but I admire him for being a man and stepping up. Good luck. I hope you find something soon.

I can sympathize with your frustration. I have been unemployed for the past 6 months & am having the same problem with lack of response. It's demoralizing enough without other people hounding you & seemingly not having faith in you. Please be patient. Keep trying. Your wife is scared too, she's just not doing a good job in keeping it from affecting her behavior towards you. <br />
Good luck!

not that i condone your wifes behavior, but just remember she is frustrated too.

so, in other words...your not going to leave your wife as long as she is supporting you, right?