Only Been Married For 4 Years.

I really just feel like I need to get away from my husband. He's not a b***ard but he constantly lets me down. Our marriage has definitely gone downhill since having kids. Probably the same old story, I end up doing everything with them, I'm fed up of taking them out on my own at the weekend because he has a hangover or can't be bothered. If I do manage to get him to come out with us, we go as far as the park at the top of the street wooo. It's particularly harder as we live abroad and don't have any family around to break things up a little.

I'm just tired of his selfishness. He says he's too stressed from work so he needs his free time at the weekend. Don't we all?
He's turned into his father. He always told me about how his dad never spent any time with them, he just did whatever he wanted to do and left his mum to take care of everything. When I try to point out the same behaviour to him, he goes nuts at me, telling me I'm so selfish and not understanding of the stress he has. I'm just trying to make him feel bad. Why would I do that? I'm a nice person, all I want is that we spend some time with the kids together at the weekend. My daughter (who's 1), has never been on a beach despite us living near one, because HE can't be bothered because he doesn't like sand..Yes I know, I can take her myself, but I don't drive and it would be a hell of a lot easier (and nicer if he came with us!).

I just feel like what's the point of even trying, when I try to talk to him, he turns everything round on to me, and how mean and selfish I'm being, and giving him a hard time for no reason.

Oh yeah, the stress from his job also caused him to cheat on me when my daughter was only 6mths old.

I've had enough. I'm young (ish) still, still have my looks! I feel like I need to get out and move on with my life and meet a decent guy who won't be selfish. Do they exist?

It's just so hard to go though (not mentally, I'm mentally totally ready to go), but logistically, financially etc. I'm trying to find FT work, I'm PT at the mo, I need enough to set up on my own. He knows I want to go, but every time I talk about separating he says 'You're not taking the kids away from me' (Not that I would, I want him to see them), or begs me to make it work, he loves me etc.

This has just not turned into the marriage I thought it would be, and yes I do think we're set up to have unrealistic relationships, but I'm not asking for too much, just a dad who makes more of an effort.
mjmc mjmc
Jul 30, 2010