Married 19 Years

I am married nineteen years with two children.  At the moment I am very unhappy. the children are growing up and no longer need me quite as much, and at a time when there should be more time for my marriage I feel more and more unhappy. I feel we no longer have a close relationship and do not talk and share our feelings.  When I think of the future I see years and years of empty nothingness if that makes any sense!!!   Anyway if anyone out there feels the same I would like to talk to them.

Frenchmum Frenchmum
41-45, F
2 Responses Jul 30, 2010

Hi, I too feel alone in my marriage. For many years now my wife and I have grown apart and we have now become incompatible. Sadly, I feel we have now reached a stage where we suffer each other for the sake of convenience. I sincerely hope this doesn't happen to you.<br />
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Can I ask, does your husband feel the same way? Could he also write a similar letter?<br />
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Have you told him how you feel? Perhaps together you could work something out. I hope so.<br />
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Be strong

So sorry I did not reply, a lot of things then happened in my life and I got distracted. I have been clearing out old emails and spotted your message. I hope things are going well for you and thanks again for your message, it is a help to know other people are out there

Kids do put a load on a relationship. We both get so distracted by the the busy-ness of life. You know all the daily stuff that needs to get done......That's what we are going through. Our youngest is a senior in high school and we are looking forward to the day when the kids move out. Of course we love our kids, and once a parent, always a parent, but just go get your own apartment and take care of yourself already....(that was supposed to be funny). I think our relationship is getting better. We are not out of the woods yet. We still have more distracted days than good days....but it is getting better....Hope this helps.

Thanks for your reply, I have just seen it as I was clearing out old emails - so sorry I did not see it at the time, thanks for your kind comments. I hope things go well with you