Is This Where The Story Begins?I am not married. Not yet. That happens in October.
We've been together for 5 and half years now. I knew her a little longer than that. Things have changed since we started dating. So much so that as October nears I get a sinking feeling in my gut that I'm walking into a mistake. Maybe in 10-20 years I will have a story similar to those from the other members here.
When we met we were both in medical school. We had a lot on our plate and did enough things together outside the classroom that we eventually connected. Things were great back then. She was vivacious and energetic. She was interested in cooking and traveling and taught me things that I've grown to appreciate.
Things slowly changed over the past few years. We stopped having things to talk about. We don't have conversations anymore. Not at home and not outside. At restaurants I see other couples talking or smiling to each other; we just stare at our phones. I don't think this is any one person's fault. We just don't have much to talk about anymore. Sometimes I think our mutual growth as a couple has ceased.
Perhaps the physical side of things is the most depressing. It simply does not exist anymore. Over the past 3 years I have had more birthdays than times I've had sex. She is simply never interested, or she is tired. Things were very different at the beginning. I think she's lost interest in me physically but she's always denied this. In the past I've brought this up several times and each time she says things will change. They never did. She says we will have more sex after marriage, but I am not stupid.
She has changed physically too. She has gained weight and that energy she's had is not there anymore. At least not there outside of work. She used to go to the gym every week. Now she comes home and watches streaming TV on her laptop, alternating with watching the actual TV. I still find her attractive, but it's almost as if she's lost interest in taking care of herself.
I guess I don't really blame her for any one thing. I just want to get this off my chest. I'm 29. I feel my 20's and my life as a single man are both coming to and end at the same time. I view these two milestones with different emotions. I have a good job, fantastic friends, and feel that the past decade's education and personal growth have made me the person I am today. I wouldn't change that one bit. On the other hand, I am about to be married, to a woman I no longer really talk with, make love to, or perhaps even love. This scares the hell out of me. My parents and friends all seem to have happy marriages, and my only experiences with troubled marriages seem to be from TV or word of mouth from other people. I don't want to be the one to experience it first hand.