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What Would You Do?

I like to think that I am trying to be a good Christian. I have made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime many that I regret but now I am at what seems to be the end of a bad marriage! He actually says " its about the kids not us" but he doesn't seem to realize that if I can't function for myself I can't function for them. We both seem to be blaming each other and mine is from pure verbal abuse and neglect! In the last 11 years he has spent no, none at all, quality time with me! No movies, no dinners, no intamacy, just sex. I feel like a tool! Me and the kids are expected to sit in our rooms from sun up to sundown, everyday! The youngest is four! This has been going on since he was about 2! Always yelling at me and putting me down! I don't
know anything and I'm stupid! Yet for the last 11years, I have been the only
one working! He says it would have been impossible for us both to work and raise the four kids! In my head I keep hearing hold on, but my heart doesn't want to hurt anymore! What would you do?
mrsfrosty mrsfrosty 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 5, 2012

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Why isn't he working to support his family? He needs to pay the cost to be the boss.

Hello MrsFrosty the problem is all about controll the whole situation. when a person doesnt have control over a certain situation like a job with your mate he controls something or someone else and thats YOU we all have power its what you choose to do with it . You can stop it anytime put your foot down honestly your in control far as the money goes ,but thats not good to use against anyone tell him to stop or get out!! It is no need for all of that he is doing he is trying to keep you week to stay in the situation and bring your confidence level down to make you think you cant survive without him.When in fact he cant survive without you. Take back your portion of the relationship.

u r not alone in an abusive marriage lacking intimacy.my wife took me for a ride down the aisle 35 years ago and then completely neglected me emotionally and sexually..our kids r now grown up but i am not a ladies man and the women who r attracted to me will not have a relationship with me.i think it all comes down to social chemistry and i lack what it takes.my wife asked me to marry her because i got her pregnant and the rest is history.if u do have a genuine chance to get out then please do it as things will never change with him

you need a way out, you can't put up with abuse for long and your kids are in a horrible environment. We all feel trapped somehow, even me in my marriage but abuse kicks it up a notch. I hope you can find the strength to leave that Bastard soon. I wish you the best and if you need to vent everyone here will listen, especially me.