Unhappy And Confused

I started dating my husband as a teenager and got married relatively young. We waited a few before we had kids and now have three amazing kids which I love to pieces.
We work opposite schedules and rarely see each other and when we do all he wants is sex and cannot keep his hands off of me. The sex is good; but we have only been with each other, so... Before our last child I was 35lbs pounds heavier (size12-14) and since then I am now a curvy (size 6 and weigh 130lbs), I have also been busty with a 34DD, which is his type. I am still trying to loose another 10 pounds (for me).
I feel such a disconnect with him and it kills me everyday. I get up every morning and get ready for work, get the kids ready for school/daycare and when I come home he is just sitting on the couch. Dinners not done, laundry not done, dishes in sink, need I go on. The weekends he sleeps during the day as I run around cleaning, food shopping, laundry, etc..
Maybe I am resentful for the fact he gets a lot of alone time and my days off I taking care of everyone. He is a good person, extremely sexy, doesn't hit me, doesn't yell at me, gamble, or drink; however, I am sad and feel lonely.
Today I checked his phone and found **** sites and also found them on his Face book page. (I am not a jealous person and this the first time I have done this).
We have sex once to twice a day, and I mix it up (the kitchen table, the bathroom, and I will come home lunch for a nooner). I send him dirty pictures, and text messages (which is really out my comfort zone) but I am trying here.
Is he cheating, bored, not in love with me anyone, or just a guy?
Really any answer will not resolve how I feel; and I have told him time and time again. He says he will try to be more open with me but it doesn't seem to last.
Shouldn't he be my person? The one I call when something funny happens at work, or when I upset about something?
I need more than sex!!!!
SassyDD SassyDD
31-35, F
1 Response Dec 1, 2012

Im sorry if this response isnt to much about him or your situation. Im not married to the mother of my child but we live together and i feel like im in a sexless marriage. I wish she was like you. I would marry her if she gave the effort you do. I was wowed when u said you have sex once or twice a day. Im lucky to get that in a week. Our son is eight months old and since he was born our sex life died with the exception of a couple hot and heavy moments. I do make efforts to connect with her and see what would make her happier with no luck. So im almost like your husband in the sense that i look for that in other places. Although if i was withyou i would be a much happier man. Maybe theres sonething he wants intimacy wise that he either isnt getting from you or is afraid to ask.

Thanks for your comment; I am the easiest person to talk to but I feel like he cannot talk to me or doesn't want to. When I made that vowed to him I meant forever but I am tired of trying and cannot imagine continuing on this way forever. It shouldn't be this hard to keep the relationship going.
I know for guys it's sex but what about the emotional connection? After talking with my girlfriends; sex for us there has to be emotions with it. Therefore a quickly without kissing only goes but so far for so long. it's just sex and we can have that with anyone and before we feel like a prostitute.
Can't we meet half way?

You really have to find a way to get through to him. It shoildnt be that way.