Wondering What the Hell I Am Doing.
I got married a little under one year of dating my husband. We've now been married for 2 1/2 years. He is foriegn, which makes our relationship that much harder with all the culture barriers. He thought money grows on trees here and now that he sees it doesnt hes become depressed and raged cuz he has to work so hard. He also does not want to help around the house, because his mommy took care of everything. I mean everything!
Its hard for me, because I blame myself for jumping into things to quickly and not really getting to know my life long partner. It is a mistake I will have to live with forever.
Ever since our marraige, we've fought everyday over anything and everything. We've always been broke which makes it even harder on our relationship and stress.
It seems like our personalities and ways of thinking are so opposite. Me being an optomist and finding the best in every negative situation (which we despriatley need) and him, the pessimist. I blame a lot of our stress on him being so negative all the time. He can find 5 complaints about absolutley anything! And he will do this. Its become so bad, I dont even want to hang out with him, which makes him even more mad.
Hes become so frustrated with his life, hes starting to become mean. He makes fun of me and is very rude. I dont like it and know I deserve better. We've gone to two seperate counselors, and I feel I try to put in the work and come up with new ideas/solutions, but dont feel he does. He plays mind games with me and if I tell him how I feel, hell say the exact same thing back to me so there is no solution.
Hes much younger then me only 24 now and it drives me crazy. I just feel (in my gut) he really doesnt love me and wants to live the bachelor lifestyle. He tells me otherwise but I just dont "feel" things are right or treats me right.
We've spoken of divorce many times. I brought it up first, but agreed to counseling and a small break where I moved out for a weekend. But of course when I came home our house was filthy and nothing had changed. Now, every situation where we need a solution, his is...divorce. I'm stressed very much. I'm such a peaceful person by heart and just feel like I have too much drama adding years to my life. Any other experiences or guidance would be appreciated.