Weight Issues

Have you suggested maybe getting on board with her as far as working out. Walk together, workout together, plan healthy meals and prepare them together. Once your married it's about a team not an individual..good luck..

After i met my husband we lived together for nine years before we got married as time went on he loved to eat a lot of junk food so i startede eating the samething that he was eating until things got out of hand every time he stuffed his face he was also stuffing food in my face too! Evary time i got pregnant the weight piled on until my health went down thats when it was time for me to lose weight i hated how i lokked..I started like last year trying to lose weight i brought myself the Leslie Sansone 3 mile power walk at home from amazon online for $9.00 and i didn't see any change at first i kept it up for 3 months everyday the weight just started coming off slowly and today i lost at least 80lbs. and still trying to lose more to i get to my desired size which is 50lbs. more and i will be set you have be positive about losing the weight, and stick with it regardless of what you see you'll be happy you did...

Honestly, I think it is about finding the "right" kind of physical activity (exercise) for your preference. I was overweight, depressed, and inactive. I had tried all sorts of diets, all different types of workout regimes, and even worked with a personal trainer. All failures. I loathed the treadmill, despised the atmosphere of a gym, and felt lonely when I took long walks. Then a friend introduced me to zumba dance. And for me -again it is what works for you as a person - it was an instant fit. I now participate in zumba dance classes 4 to 5 days a week. I'm down 40 lbs and feel so much better. I'm not convinced that husbandly support is a motivator. I believe that the motivation has to come from within that person; external motivation will only be short-lived.

Also as people get older, their body is not the same anymore. Her metabolism slows down, she could have other health problems like diebeties, thyroid, or something else. She should also see a doctor. My sister gained about over 50lbs after her and her husband got married and just now found our she was pre diebetic. She just started taking metformin and within one week without changing her diet or pysical activity she has already lost 10lbs.

I too gained weight after getting into a relationship with my now husband. It's not because I just did care anymore, or cause I want to use it as an excuse not to have sex. I love having sex and still do. No, it was the stress of having two kids, which pregnancy can also make you gain weight by the way, the stress of fighting all the time, and the stress of just not being happy in my marriage. Instead of turning to another man for comfort I turned to food. Now I'm starting to wish I had turned to another man, then I would still be skinny and also have the lovin that I need. BTW my husbands diet affected my diet. Buying food for the house and feeding my husband what he wanted, I justed ended up eating what he wanted, which is mexican food cause he is hispanic. Really think about why it is she gained the weight in the first place, cause she will just gain it back unless the real problem is fixed.

That's a tough situation.. Your trying, but it sounds like she is very depressed. Encourage her to get up and do some fun physical activities.gym classes are great.yoga especially..hardest part is to get out there an
d do it..good luck

After they get married, women don't care...they don't live up to their end of marriage, they get fat and refuse sex. Men on the other hand are still expected to pay all the bills and provide everything. I'm sick and tired of the double standard and want out...but if you are a man and get divorced the woman gets everything and you live the rest of your life poor. I get certainly identify here, my wife has gotten fat to and continues to over eat. I feel stuck and don't know what to do either. I think that you need to stop being supportive and demand action. Give her a deadline of either you lose weight by a certain time or I leave. You won't get anywhere if you just keep allowing the status quo. Others talk about motivation here...ok give her the motivation of unless your *** loses weight I'm gone...and guess what, no one less will want your fat *** either so you will die alone.

my wife went thru a long period of weight gain until she started eating yoghurt and walking every week day.she trimmed down but has not lost the aversion to me or married life that has bugged her from day one...i think many married women get fat subconciously so that they have an excuse to refuse sex...if my experience is any guide ur wife has lost interest in u and u would be well advised to practise tough love and dump her....it will either be a wakeup call to her or she will take the opportunity to opt out of the marriage...

I have gained about 60 pounds since I married my husband 5 yrs ago.

most of my eating is from boredom. My husband is very thin, and does not like to doanything.

He is a couch potatoe and so he sits and chain smokes.

before I met my husband, I was so active, so fit, and enjoyed being active and always on the go.

I moved to his city when we married so I didnt know anyone. so all I did was cook, clean eat and work at a desk.

The weight started slowly, and I tried to fight it bying to eat healthier.

But the more unhappy I became in my marriage, the more I turned to food for comfort.

I now sometimes think I punish him for ignoring me by getting fat.

I failed to mention we had no sex life befor I gained weight. He never talks. I am lucky to get 5 words a day from him. If that wasnt enough, I found out he had affairs with men befor we wer married. (he never told me that, I found out later)

I think you may want to look into what else is bothering your wife, why did she let herself go? It might be she feels it doesnt matter anyway. If you arent paying attention to her anyway, or you have hurt her, or are hurting her in another way. You need to dig deep and find out the true reason.

Emotional over eaters eat becuase of emotional reasons that they turn inwards. You may be her real problem. It may only take an honest conversation.

I suggest you read the book by Mort Fertel called Marriage Fitness. It is a marriage counseling alternative. He tells you constructive advice on how to reconnect with your spouse. I've read alot of books but this one I highly recommend.

He also gives free marriage saving tips via email:

http://bit.ly/7secretsToFixingYourMarriage

I know how you feel. My wife is 5 feet even and 220 pounds. She says she has food addictions, yet I see her laugh and allow herself cookies, candy and so on. She has gone to Weight watchers in the past, but I have not seen her make any concerted effort to eat heahily, exercise, or cut down on carbs and sugar with any commitment.

She was 60 pounds lighter when we met 9 years ago and although it sounds petty I sometimes feel it was false advertising so we would get together, move in, enmesh our lives, and she would then let herself go.

We have no sex life, and I do not find her attractive. Yet it has much less to do with physical appearance than with havingt lost respect for her.

Myself having a weight problem I can maybe understand how she feels. For me its so hard at times to go out and get motivated. For my because I feel ashamed for my weight, I am afraid I will embarrass the people I am with and myself. I feel like everyone is laughing at me.



Its so hard to be over weight. Although she needs to get moving not just for you're sake but for her health. Her weight will kill her if she isnt physically active!



Just keep at it. Tell her how beautiful she is I am sure she is but offer to go for a walk in the evenings maybe or start cooking and make some healthy meals?



I hope things work out :)

He tells her she is beautiful... so that should account for something...but dude I know how you feel if I tell her what about walking with me just to get her off the couch.....she gives me the eye and say yes skinny minny lets walk... then she blows like a old mule as we walk she is so mad...

Is the lack of sex on her part or yours? you say you dont have sex anymore, and then talk about how overweight she is.. is that because you dont find her attractive anymore, or she just doesnt have any interest in it? She ISNT going to lose weight until SHE is ready to do it for HERSELF..not for you or anyone else.. but for herself. Its good you are being supportive..but dont be pushy about it.. It wont work. Let her know you love her for *HER* and dont make her feel like she has to be thin in order to be loved cause that is just wrong.

It's good that you have remained supportive and encouraging for your wife. My situation with my husband is very similar. He is about 5'11" and weighs about 350. We also have no sex life anymore (part of the reason being his obsession with the computer, but that's another story). His weight is a big part of it. I know this sounds really bad (and I feel terrible saying it), but his size makes sex nearly impossible at this point (I am only 135 lbs.). I also try and encourage my husband to exercise, but he shows no interest. His doctor has recommended that he have the lapband system put in, but he shows no interest there either. Has your wife considered this? I know it sounds drastic, but it sounds like a safe procedure, from what I've read. It's like I tell my husband, it's what's on the inside that really matters, not the outside. But, at such an out-of-control weight, I wonder how long his life will be. I'm sure this is a concern of your's also.

Good for you for sticking by your wife.



It sounds to me like perhaps depression is partly to blame for her weight gain. In cases like that, telling her that she is beautiful may not help because she probably doesn't believe it.



Go on walks together. Get all the junk food OUT of the house! NO fast food. Cook healthy meals together. Invest in a gym membership.



Do these things together. And remember, a healthy lifestyle is good for EVERYONE.



I was/am bulimic and part of my struggle was because my family did nothing to help me. They refused to not buy junk food (the type that I binged on most often) and did not want to eat healthily. Make sure you and your kids are healthy, and your wife will want to be healthy too.



Good luck!