I Am Unhappily Married

I have been with my "wife" for 25 years.  Now we have nothing in common, hardly even speak to each other and basically live separate lives in the same house.  I am sure that I could completely disappear and that as long as my paycheck kept landing in the bank account she wouldn't even notice.  I know that I have not been perfect, far from it, but as I am getting older it is just hard to imagine spending the rest of my life with someone who couldn't care less about me.  I am so lonely that I can hardly stand it anymore, I don't have any friends, and I'm pretty sure that there is someone else in the picture again, a repeating pattern so I recognize the signs.  I don't have any idea how to get out and meet someone, or how to end this misery.  I have tried to talk this over, and my feelings are always minimized, I'm whiney, I'm wrong, I'm weak, I never want to do anything, the list of the things that are wrong with me is virtually endless.  I want to believe that there is someone out there who could love me, I am educated, have a good job, reasonably attractive, at least I am not homely, 

serena1959 serena1959
46-50, F
1 Response Jan 5, 2010

You are not not a winer...you are sharing. FIRST you must start with talking to your wife. I mean be specific in what you want, what has made you angry and how you are feeling. Basically show her your post. DON"T attack or accuse, just share. Then suggest therapy. Be selective in finding a therapist. Do your research. If your wife isn't open to any of this, then you have to move on to the next chapter in your life. I wish you luck.