Lonely Marriage

I'm so lonely in my marriage. My husband would rather look at his computer then talk to me. About two years ago, it looked like we had some hope but I'm not sure we ever have a chance of really connecting. We don't fight, there's just no connection, no love. I'm thinking that since we don't fight, I'll stick it out for the kids and then move on when they are older.

Coll78 Coll78
31-35, F
6 Responses Oct 8, 2009

Just to say: I am a male and it can work both ways. I don't wish to play out the story here. But lonely in a marriage is way worse than lonely when alone. Been both. Ran out on such a 20-year marriage 20 years ago. Now 15 years into this one. She into late-life career. She into A's in night school and for more years to come. Me into a past of instability. (Thank goodness never any drugs or alcohol. Don't even smoke.) Depression comes down to perceptions of decisions we made, or keep making. At least you will have years to make changes. Be careful with them. And at least you know you're not alone in your loneliness. Men, too. My diversion is books and online learning. Works sometimes. But not always.

If I'm lonely and depressed; then I'd rather be alone than married to someone who doesn't prioritize his interests properly. You would think after 20 years and raising 3 children to adulthood he could show a little respect for our marriage. I don't have any answers except I'm in the same boat.

I have been struggling with this for 20 years. When is enough enough? I have been on all kinds of anti depressants, which have numbed my feelings, and whenever I begin to go off them, I get unhappy. Everyone thinks I have a good life and should be happy. So, am I unhappy or depressed? I function well in life - I don't have depressed symptoms. But I am so unhappy. <br />
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I feel so alone in my marriage - I could go on about that. Every time I get discontent, or unhappy, my husband thinks I need more meds. He doesn't want me going off them - he has even taken me to the dr and told him how depressed I am. He likes it when I just don't have any emotions. Since weaning myself off these meds, I am more emotional - is it unhappiness?

I have been struggling with the same problem for years. We are coming up to our 10 year Anniversary and honestly, I'm not looking forward to it. I do love my husband but I am not happy. If you figure it out let me know.

Have faith girl pray god will fix your problems he's the best one to no what is right in this life. Pray & have Faith i wish you the best of luck!

HUGS good luck. And I agree - marriage takes effort, it is not always roses and candy. It's like a garden that you have to cultivate - you have to feed, water and weed it for it to survive. <br />
Talk to your mate - see if there are things that you guys can do together ... and tell him to get off his damn computer and back to YOU :)