My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we're both 21. Although we're young, this is not a first relationship for either of us, and we really do love one another completely. That being said, I know that I want to be with him and work through anything that comes our way, but I also know that I need more of a support system when things get difficult, which is where this site will hopefully help.
I go to school two hours away from home, where he works as a welder in the colder seasons, so we see each other most weekends and throughout the summer. When his jobs start up, he works 6/10 night shifts with Sundays off, so when we talk he's usually pretty tired. Things are great when we're together or at least seeing one another regularly on weekends, but now that his job has started back up again, we're back in the pattern of speaking once and day and hardly seeing one another.
When we do have the opportunity to talk, he's just.... Not very sweet. He sounds bored or annoyed almost all the time, and has an attitude with me that can sometimes really hurt my feelings. I understand that he's tired, but being in a long distance relationship is difficult enough, and it really hurts to feel like he just doesn't care that much. For example, I wrote him a letter last week that just updated him on school and my life right now, because I know that he likes to receive mail.
I mentioned on the phone to him last night to keep an eye out for the letter in the mail today, and he sarcastically responded, "Well thanks so much for letting my mail be a SURPRISE." I just don't understand why he couldn't go ahead and appreciate the gesture rather than make a snide remark about it, especially when it took me an hour and a half to write and a long walk to the post office to send.
I don't know what to do other than ask for advice about a relationship that I'm happy in 80% of the time, while the other 20% takes such a toll. Thank you for reading.
Waitingforchange2 Waitingforchange2
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 17, 2012

Also, he leaves for work in one hour, and I haven't even heard from him today.

Possibly his work is taking its toll on him. That is no excuse to treat you poorly, yet as you said, he is typically tired after work. No one enjoys being treated in that manner, it destroys self-esteem, as well as creates animosity in a relationship. Tell him how you feel.

Take care

Thank you!

Absolutely my pleasure!