Kill Me Now!I am so DESPERATELY unhappy! As I sit here seeking my catharsis through typing these words, I know that I won't feel quite this badly tomorrow . . or next week. Because this level of unhappy only happens every once in awhile -- when my husband shows the side of himself I hate most. Mulish ignorance.
It embarrasses me when my husband reaches his intellectual limit in front of others, then digs his heels in because he realizes SOMEthing's wrong, although he can't figure out what. This happened yesterday during marriage counseling. It always makes me feel as if there's no hope for us -- because he's simply incapable of grasping the problem or articulating at the necessary level to solve it.
Compromise isn't a word in his vocabulary. We either do things HIS way -- or he's a victim. There's no middle ground. Most times, I play along. Some days, I just don't feel like it. I want to leave so badly. But the fear of managing on my own, and being alone emotionally forever -- keep stymying me. Some days, I truly wish I had a fairy godmother.
I don't feel like going to work. I just wanna curl up in a little ball and cry.