Tired Of Being Ignored

After 26 years I'm seriously thinking of giving up on this marriage and finding myself a cosy apartment. I'm not blaming him entirely. He would have been happier with someone else, I'm sure. I don't share his politics, his world view,  his love of Las Vegas and gambling (for me, it's like throwing money down the toilet), his exclusive love of cop and crime shows on TV, his taste in books and music and  his hatred of others that don't share his views. I have tried to train myself to be interested or at least accepting of his enthusiasms but there is never any reciprocity. He calls those that don't share his political party "The Enemy" and when I remind him that I am also, by definition, The Enemy, denies that I hold my own views. I really think that he doesn't care about my opinions on anything. I'm simply unimportant in almost every way to him. He has been unable to have sex in the usual way for many years, and is uninterested in my sexual needs. He mocks my taste by claiming that every gift I've given him that he likes MUST have been given by someone else. I'm more intelligent than he is (though he's not stupid by any means), but I don't ever try to make him feel less bright. I try to find things we can be mutually interested in only to see him drop any interest once he sees I like those things. I really think he's trying to keep a wall between us on purpose, because of the hurtful things he says and does. Why else would he tell me that once I was pretty but now am ugly. Sorry but I got older. So did he, but he says that he is just the same as when he was in his 20's. 
Over the years I've had to make due with less and less affection, less and less touching (and practically no kissing), next to no emotional support of any kind. It's as though he lives his life solely for his own pleasure and the heck with those who love him. He treats his children barely any better. I'm furious -  not only with him but with myself for accepting so little for so long.
hreed62 hreed62
61-65, F
2 Responses Sep 18, 2010

I feel your pain,you are not alone.i am new here and it is comforting to read and gain strength to do what need to do from each other.there is 40 percent of my life in her story ,50 percent in his, 30% in another woman's.my life is written by so many more people than I thought.that is sad that we are all so broken but with each other's help and the grace of God we will pull through!faith is tough sometimes!

I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING BUT IT HAS BEEN 14 YRS OF HELL. HE DOESNT WANT SEX UNLESS IT IS AN ORGIE.. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANY OF SUCH. I AM INTERESTED IN BEING A FAMILY. HE IS INTERESTED IN PARTYING. I WANT TO LEAVE BUT IT IS VERY HARD. I HAVE A 12 YR OLD THAT HAS ADHD AND IS HARD TO TAKE CARE OF ON MY OWN. I CAUGHT HIM SEXTING WITH A 20 YR OLD AND HE DENIES ANY THING HAPPENED. I BELIEVE THIS. BUT IF I HADNT CAUGHT IT WHEN IT HAPPENED I AM SURE SOMETHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. I HAVE LOST ALL TRUST. I LOVE HIM BUT DONT LIKE NOR WANT HIM ANY LONGER. HE DID THE ABOVE IMMEDIATELY AFTER I HAD SURGERY.IE A HYSTORECTOMY DUE TO OVARIAN CYST. SO HE NOT ONLY DID THIS BUT KICKED ME WHEN I WAS AT MY LOWEST POINT. I CAN NEVER FORGET NOR FORGIVE.