Newly Married And Unhappy

I havent been married a month yet but its a horrible thing. On our honeymoon was kind of messed up. We get home he is out the box he throws up he pay the bills and he doesnt know what i do with my money. He offered to do the bills and i offer help he decline and i barely make money now with the economy.Just about everything I say or do he gets upset. So now i only speak when spoken to. He tells me i am not submissive and dont listen when i do. Im not sure what it is he is wanting from me and when i ask he give long drawn out speeches that gets us no where i just ask him to lets address one thing at a time so i want be confused and he doesnt. I get blamed for everything wrong in our relationship. All i do is cry and wonder what can i do to fix this. I just feel he doest love me at all.
keisha20012003 keisha20012003
3 Responses Jun 1, 2011

Hey Keisha,
i can totally relate to your situation and thats why i ended up here. I am seriously even crying right now, and have a headache because i cry like almost every night. My husband comes from work and just hangs around the couch, watches tv, some here and there and goes to sleep. first I used to get upset about this behavior, but now i think its better cuz every single thing I say, I have to think before. He gets upset about so many things and he always tries to blame me for our problems. He just gets mad at little issues and then yells at me pointing fingers and talking very disrespectfully. He told me once, the reason we dont have a joint account yet, is because 'he doesnt "trust" me with the money' and I swear to god, we've only been married since 2 months and I have done "nothing" that he would think that way. He rarely gives me enough money for gas and thats it. He's always saying negatives things about my family and he takes everything tooo seriously. He is stubborn and he thinks I am too immature, where as he acts so immature that if he doesnt get 7-8 hours of sleep per night, he starts punching walls and running around the house cursing me. I feel so alone and feel the same way, that he doesnt truly love me or he wouldn't hurt me so much. I dont know what to do!

You need to understand the root of the issue is it your communication with one another or if you did not live together before your wedding you could still be adjusting to your new life and figuring out your roles in it. Hopefully it is not underlying money issue. Money issue are a big deal and doom many new marriages. Try talking to him later in the evening after he unwinds from work and figure out as a couple what the real issue is and work on a plan together. I am newly married myself and my wife is having a very hard time adjusting to our new life. She had to change her name, move to a new state, she was they closed the school she was teaching in, and the hardest thing for her is being away from friends and family. That is a lot of adjustment for anyone we fight about little things and they become big issues all the time. We are still adjusting to livingtogether and defining our new roles and sorting out our finances. I know that when I take the time to figure out what is really wrong it helps us avoid a big blowout fight. Good luck.

I feel the same thing.