There Is No Intimacy, In Any Form, In My Marriage

I am all too familiar with your predicament. I too an in a similar situation. Passion is what i too miss most. The small touches. I think my time without sex is longer than anyone whom i have found on EP. So i do understand and I have gone through those exact same thought process.

You sound like me, I'm too young to not have any romance in my life. I can't leave because I don't have myself set up financially. and not leaving everything. I'm so lonely. I just want to get on a plane and run away. Good luck to you. I just want love in my life

I agree hun...it's disappointing when the other half doesnt live up to our expectations. I need sex like 7 times a day if I could, all i want is plenty of sex, oral, anal, and to be breastfed...is that too much to ask??

i have been married for 25 years together 30. 4 children youngest 18. and he has slept on the couch for 15 years. no intamacy at all. sex included. i am so lost. the children kept me in in but i dont know anymore he is 15 years my senior and the last three years have been heart renching. i just dont want to hurt the kids or maybe the failure of something that ment everything to me. i have a male friend for 9 years. i couldnt have made it this long without his friendship. please help

I am in the same situaiton, no love or emotion or intimacy for years. Would be nice to meet for a coffee and commiserate, or talk about a better future.

I started reading this bc i was feeling this way, and i'm glad i did. My husband and i use to do it all the time and anywhere, after 13 years we probably do it 5 times a week and this is not enough for me. I couldnt live with a husband like that and i dont think its fair to you. I have to feel wanted and desired and i love to make my husband feel that way....

This situation is not just happening for women with their husbands im in the same situation with my wife and it sucks

Its not A MAN'S FAULT YOU ARE UNHAPPY

GROW UP

either leave him or stop whining

My wife should be with your hubby. They sound like 2 peas in a pod. Hope you find a way to improve your relationship.

I understand completely. My husband sleeps on the couch because he says its more comfortable for him. Then the other day he said I needed to clear off the boxes on the guest bed in case he ever wants to lay down. I might have asked why he wouldn't just come to bed with me if I cared anymore but I don't and I don't think I could sleep with him in the bed anyway. He plays video games 24/7 while I work full time and do everything around the house. Cook, clean, maintenance ....everything. I can't even get him to feed the dog. He's on disability and truly does need to be but isn't so bad off he couldn't help me out. He can handle doing things that he wants to do. I almost don't even care anymore except it ticks me off when he calls me lazy because it might be a day or two before I get to the dishes or something. I don't care that we don't have sex anymore, its been over a year. I do miss having a normal conversation but he constantly interrupts me to the point I just don't bother speaking anymore. Sometimes he asks a question and doesn't even wait for me to answer.

hi Moonwillow85, is there anything like emotional affair? how does it work, please help me, maybe thats what I really need to cope with my loveless marriage and lonely life.

Where are you located?

I feel your pain dear cos I am presently going through same. I wonder why men delight in treating women this way. God will help us.

I understand your situation. Hubby and I are in the same scenario; he's content with our marriage but me on the other hand feel like I we're emotionally disconnected. We've also lost communication and definitely lost the intimacy too.

i am going through the same situation.

No women shold feel like that. I would love to chat and talk about your needs and desires. Maybe i can provide some of the attention you deserve.

I am so sorry for your situation, I share it in many ways. I am certain that my husband has simply lost interest in sex. He has used some of the medications that help with erection issues, but they aren't ideal. Two years ago, he moved into the spare bedroom. He is a real loner and spends very little time with me. The only discussions are arguments. We even watch television in different rooms.



If you have been married for a long time, and your husband is on any medication such as blood pressure meds, that could be causing problems for him. Try talking to his Doctor if he won't go. Maybe you can find out if any of his medical history has an influence on your problems.



Good luck to you, I wish you the best!

Wow nice and alsp sad story. But if you still love him then not sure what to tell Ya. All i can say is I would give any thing to have my wife back in my life again.. O I guess i should also say she passed away.. But if NO LOVE well then WHY stay????

I wish you the best - I understand as my wife and I have not shared sex for 11 years.... In fact, she finally told me after several arguments over the past few years that she intentionally with held sex from the man she was sleeping with - I am nothing more than a door mat in the bed next to her - not allowed to touch... The discussions have often turned into arguments... now sex to me is a object of hurt and mistrust - I doubt that we will ever share any sex activity - I mean - it is difficult to get excited about someone that only fights abt sex and never share it..... Thank you for sharing...

I'm sorry you're in that situation :(

I have learned over the past few years, that if it's important to someone, they will stop making excuses and get it done. Every time, they make excuses not to get it done, it's not important to them...

I think, at this point, if you go out without him and it doesn't get a reaction from him, then you should move on.

You also need to let him know that if it seems fine to him, it's far from fine from where you've been standing for a while now and that it's headed where it's headed unless he gets a clue...

Whatever else happens, you can't hold a marriage together all by yourself. it takes 2 to make it work and if the other person just sits there ignoring th problem, then it's not a relationship anymore.

Hi Moonwillow, Sorry to step in the middle. I am a man was in a failed marriage which I have tried to improve several times. Have done the family therapy (After I have threatened if we do not go it I would leave her) it did work for couple of years and then back to square on. I found that men need road map (a manual) when it comes to romancing, I was guilty of that myself. But we can change just to put some effort into it and understand the impact these efforts do on the wife. But at the same time I feel exactly what you are feeling because after putting all the effort and making changes she still decides after a couple of years that we should live like roommates.

So I know how feeling let doing goes.

It is not lack of desire is the cause it is other factors translate into a man heads by distancing themselves; which is the worst flow in a male.

Wish you all the best

I'm new to this site. Reading to your problems it makes me feel sad because I'm in the same situation like you. I been married for 25 yrs. without sex for 2 yrs now, I tried to initiate to have sex with him, he just push me away. I'm only 47 yrs old and he is 57. I'm thinking to have an affair but I have strong faith of god not to do crazy things that I will regret it for the rest of my life.

But deep down inside of me, I'm really hurting. I felt lonely and depressed. I want to seek counseling but he do want to go because" he said he don't have problem. I'm the one causing the drama" also he is worried that it might affect his government job.

I'm sorry to say I know what you are going thru because I am in the same spot with my husband of 26 years. Our Anniversary is tomorrow and I dread it. We seperated for 3 months this year and it was not a good time for either of us. Lots of anger and things said in hurt because I found receipts he bought jewelry for another woman Christmas and Valentines Day and said she was just someone he could talk to. We have been to marriage counseling and are now back together for the last 3 months. Our minister has helped us but things are just not the same and I don't know how to trust him. I think he came back to me just becaus he missed our 16 year old son. I feel when our son moves out he will want to leave me again. My inner deamons are tearing me apart daily on the what if's. i totally went off the deep end when I found the receipts and another episode one night that devastated me with his actions and I will never lose control like that again. How do I find peace again and make this marriage work?

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. It seems all too common on EP. I am so shocked to hear that so many women are being "misused". I am sad for all of us going through a rough time in our marriages. I wish you all of the love and luck in the world.

wow i am so very sorry. i am young n married to my first true love n some times i feel like our marriage is gone. but we keep trying n plus now he knows how i feel. i hope u can find a way to make the marriage work but your still young move on. its gonna be hard but if your husband isn't trying to make the marriage works then why keep putting yourself thou it all? It doesn't just take one person to make a marriage work it takes two....i hope to read updates ill be praying for you two

I don't think an affair is the answer. I am in the same situation. He has ignored my pleas for intimacy for years, I read the books, I tried so many things. Change is just not going to happen when only one wants to change.



I hope you find someone that will love you and share all the intimacy, passion and pleasure that is meant to be shared by husband and wife. Life is too short to settle.



I have checked out too, so I know exactly what you are feeling. The time will come pretty soon, I have my exit plan. I will find that path to happiness, and I do hope you find the strength, and courage to find yours.

you should read your story back to yourself you may feel sad reading your own words but it may open your eyes more. your husband is taking you for granted, if he was to make more of an effort how long would it last? do you love him? to be honest i dont know why i asked that because that isnt important when it comes to your happiness and the bigger picture. this is an absolutely awful thing to say but maybe you should have an affair...it will help your sexual tension, you,ll feel beautiful and your mundane marriage will be more bearable. im sorry thats maybe awful advice, im only writing what id think myself if it were me xxx