Marriage Is Not For Someone Like Me

I have been married for 4 years and with him for 8 years. We have 2 children, I am 27 years old...I have been with him since i was 19. I honestly don't know 1 person happy in their marriage. NOT ONE! I am tired of having to tell my husband where i am going, making sure he is ok, asking if i can have this...have that. I want to be free. I never want to be in a position to rely on someone financially or spiritually. Although my husband has done things to make me no longer be in love with him and i probably have to. I am tired of feeling like a kid again. I need 100% control and freedom of my life and weather you know it or not....marriage can take a large or small percentage of that away. For ex: I went to go work out the other night...I was there for 1 hour and I really wanted to stay for 2 but because i knew he may be upset i just decided to leave. I don't mind catering to my kids needing me but I am deathly tired of catering to him needing me or having any control over any moves i make. My husband has control of the money, and basically everything else. Our lease is up in July and I am trying to get the courage to tell him I want to live in seperate places. I may be one of those people who just wants to be alone for the rest of her life. DOES ANYONE ELSE EVER FEEL THIS WAY?
imsohappynow imsohappynow
26-30, F
5 Responses May 11, 2012

amen little sister you never got to have a chance at freedom I had it many many years I the opposite of you got married later in life...I was so use to being on my own being free...ahh etc. Going places having some excitement once in a while. Now I just hover around in this house with an old man whom has physical issues and is a ball buster. I too feel liked a caged bird.

As for you maybe you can improve your situation and or maybe move on. Weigh the pros and cons

Marriage is like a business partnership, just with sex involved. I've been married many many years and it has had its good and difficult times. Two things we've never fought over, relition and money. Everything goes into one checking account. Mrs. Drab has a checkbook and a credit card and I take the check book about once a week an post the checks to the computer. The credit card never has extravagant charges. Mrs. Drab is very conservative and so am I, I trust her completely with money and everything else. Any major expenses like a TV or new washer and dryer we always discuss together, same with the car and especially the house and any improvements...we usually do it her way because she has really good ideas (and, as the saying goes, happy wife, happy life). I write all the checks and take care of all the money and bills. But I am never surprised by any outrageous expenses. Regarding extramaritial activities, we simply don't have any. We are both monogomous by nature and we trust each other on that matter completely, too.<br />
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Back to the partnership business, this is the way you would treat a business partner and you wouldn't become a business partner with another person without all partners knowing about the relationship. Early on we were apart for weeks at a time due to business matters. I had plenty of opportunity for an affair. So did Mrs. Drab. We never took advantage of it, but we always told each about the experiences. <br />
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I'm glad to know that as of May, you are getting closer. I hope the rest of your life goes smoothly...all I can say is marriage is a partnership and each spouse is an equal partner. Just like a business partner who has an equal share in everything. I didn't mean to give you a lecture, but it looks like I did.

OMG... marriage can be the icing on the cake, or the sh&* on the deck. I love having a partner but also know about the jealousy part... something I'm dealing with today. It hangs like a dark cloud. We live a part out of necessity for months at a time, yet when I make FB posts with another woman... in clear view of the world... I have to deal with a frosty tone and a harsh voice. At that point, I just wanna.. walk, I guess. <br />
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So just venting, but I do appreciate the challenges.<br />
max

Thank you!!!!

I am so sorry to hear of the trials you have dealt with in your life. I am not sure what to say. But i do appreciate your honesty and since I wrote this..my husband and I have been getting closer and I am learning to appreciate him more.