I Wish I Could Break Up

I still feel some love for my husband.. I know he feels the same way..
I know he loves me.. i try a lot to make this relationship work.. but i am not a kind of a person he wants me to be...
I try a lot to b someone he wants, but he always ends tat with a silly fight...
Not even a single day since our marriage has passed without a fight between it is just a year after our marriage..
I feel very detached n broken..I am not this kind of a person..I use to keep myself n my surroundings filled with happiness...
I never hurt anyone with words or my action, but he hurts me a lot...
even after knowing these things both my parents n his wants me to adjust more more n more...
He loves me i know tat well, but is it wrong for me to expect him to show it...
When we go out, he states often that i bring in unnecessary spending.. He even thinks buying food for me, when v go out is also a waste of money..
How can a person hurt this bad someone he loves n still tell her that he thinks about her 24/7??
I feel totally lost n depressed..
To make it work, i sat n spoke with him.. in the end he was the one speaking n i was again his listener..
I even tried to go to a marriage counselor, but he never accepts.. he said that even they r gonna advise u to adjust n live, n i am not ready to spend on that.. if u wanna live with me adjust according to me n live else go back to India.. ( Did i mention that we live in Germany while our parents r in India).
To make things worse he sometimes hits me.. but not intentionally, he goes mad n when the situation goes uncontrollable he hits me...
but ll apologies for what he did, still i could not come out of each n every blow that i faced in my life with him..

sorry for my story is big... can anyone give me some advice??
do u think that i must adjust more??
i am stuck up with emotional interference...
r there any one in the same situation??
sugargirl1 sugargirl1
18-21, F
2 Responses May 16, 2012

Sorry to hear your story. It's never easy to be in a one sided relationship. I see a big red flag tho, that he hits you. It doesn't matter why or that he apologizes after. Get out as soon as you can. Men learn to hit women and unless they r willing to get help it will only get worse. Good luck.

I have done alot of soul searching after coming out of a relationship where we were fighing daily for the last couple of years and this is the conclusion I came to about myself. I was being a "right" fighter. I wanted to be right more than I wanted to solve the situation. I failed to completely listen and validate what my partner was saying. I would cut him off or walk out of the room if I didn't like what I was hearing. I think I perpetuated alot of the fighting and lack of resolution. It has been difficult to acknowledge these traits of mine, however, I believe they are true and that was my contribution to the relationship failing. I have since learned to be a better listener, validator and understanding person but it is too late to support the man I loved. I have lost him. I am alone now and hope to find love in my life and use my new skills to make a new future relationship flourish. <br />
Whatever you do, be certain you are doing everything you can from the bottom of your heart not to be a contributor to problems not getting solved. Listen more than you speak, validate your partners feelings and try to work out a solution together. If you do these things and you still cannot come to agreements, then at least you will know you made a great effort to be a "problem solver" instead of a "right fighter" like I was. If your relationship ends you will have some consolation that you handled yourself with respect towards your partner. I hope this helps.