Tired Already

I have been married for 30years, my husband is 5 years older than me, he do not smoke and do not drink intoxicating drinks. he is a good provider and a very straight man who would not tolerate unlawful things. My feelings for him is slowly turning into hatred, I have a full time job, but I also do all the household chores specially preparing for his food and clothes, and preparing almost everything for him, because he would not lift a finger to do it, if he needs to do something or go somewhere I am always supporting him, even if he needs to spend for it. But if it is already me who needs to attend or join something in the office it is always a problem, and at the end he will not allow me. What hurt me most is I cannot do things that I like. He wants all my time and attention. I can feel he is jealous even to my children and other people, because he demands that he should always be my priority. To make my life peacefull, I should always do things that pleases him or else he will start ranting and saying things against me, or physically hurt me. I have a feeling that I want to get out of this marriage, I know and I can feel that he only needs me, but he really do not care on what I feel. There are times when we are out on shopping or wherever, he looks on other girls, admiring and even talks to them jokingly, even infront of me, Everytime I would talk to him about this, he will get mad and would threaten me, I am always telling him to find someone that he would like to be with, becuse I am very tired already, But this will only lead to a fight, where in I always need to shut up.
josol josol
46-50
May 18, 2012