Longing To Feel Loved

I have been married for over 34 years. For thirty of those years I was on active duty in the U.S. Navy. I loved leaving home..missed my daughters but, never my wife. I married a women who turned out to be very demanding and controling. My wife is a strong type A individual. She is so in control that...that I often feel she should be the man in this relationship... I always feel so wimpy around her. She has a temper that I have not seen in many women.
I have tried to leave her on several occasions..but, since I am the bread winner and the only one with a steady pension...she would have a hard time supporting herself. or, just getting by.
We have had counseling together ...she is fine and happy in front of the counselor and admits to errors the counselor brings up..than when we are leaving she rips into me about bringing up things that she feels do not exist.

Well here I am trying to find someone to vent to...or, share similar experiences.
Knighthood Knighthood
61-65, M
2 Responses May 21, 2012

Perhaps thinking and trying to speak in the first person will help you more than you realize. "She is so in control...", I have allowed her to be in control. "She has a temper..." I shy away from confrontation. "She would have a hard time supporting herself..." I am willing to support her in the custom she is used to for 24 months. I will make it clear to her she has 24 months to get on her financial feet.<br />
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Once you take responsibility for yourself and your actions, then and only then will you be able to communicate to your wife how you really feel.

I agree that it's a good sign that she is willing to attend the sessions. My husband refuses to seek any help at all. In fact he refuses to do anything for our marriage. He ignores me on a daily basis. Although he admits to everyone that I treat him really good and he is lacking in his treatment towards me, he still makes no effort to change this. I feel like I can't depend on him at all. Frustrating is too mild a word