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Unhappy .... Don't No What To Do !!

I have been married for a little over 3 years now and I am not happy. I am so confused and don't no what to do!! My husband is a great guy I just don't think I am in Love with him anymore. We don't share to many of the same interests so I go out without him most of the time. I am at the point were I really don't no what to do, leaving my husband would ruin alot of things in my life. I am scared of what my family is gonna say and scared that I will never meet anyone better than him. I just dont no if I can spend the rest of my life with someone I am not fully in Love with anymore. I feel that I am mostly concerned with what my family is going to think. They Love him so much and think he is the greatest thing that has e ver happened to me. They won't understand how I feel and it will kill me to not have there support. What should I do???
oneday143 oneday143 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 25, 2012

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I am a 51 yr old female just out of a live in relationship of 5 yrs. I have been divorced twice. For some reason. Three years seems to be the number of years it takes for things to get somewhat humdrum. These feelings may not be exclusive to you. From talking with other girl friends, by the third year, if partners haven't kept up the maintenance of the relationship, it enters the beginnning stages of two people growing apart.

My question to you would be this. What qualities did you see in him when you first started dating. What types of activities did you do together? Perhaps you could talk with him and revisit what the beginning of your relationship was like with a walk down memory lane.

Make a plan to do something that you used to do together that was enjoyable.

If you feel that you really didn't think through the differences prior to marriage and went ahead with it, you could always try some activities that would be new to both of you and build some fun memories. I really believe this time period is the part where everyone tells you when you're young that "marriage is hard work". Welcome to the part of marriage where you really do have to put thought and energy into the relationship. The honeymoon phase has ended. It would no matter who you were married to.

It doesn't sound like there are any real "dealbreakers" in your marriage. No abuse of any kind. It's not that I'm not sympathetic to what you are feeling. You are probably right on with what you are saying, but work at it. Take it from me. You will find another man with the same as well as different problems if you leave. I am 51 and I would love to find the kind of contentment that you are experiencing.....put your heart and soul into you marriage and the man you fell in love with. Engage him in the conversation about how you are feeling. He deserves to know so he is presented with the opportunity to work on it also. You could be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.