My Loveless Marriage

I am in a loveless marriage with no intimacy.
I married 4 years ago at 21 and I was still a virgin and never slept with another man because I preferred sex after marriage. He was studying at another city . I found out he didnt hold hands/kiss/caress/sex later after marriage and no communication too. He tells me that is how he is and cant show emotions. I'm a very good girl and respectful, I like to think I'm attractive and my personal grooming is spot on. I dont know what it is pushing him away from me.

I'm ever so lonely and wanted to leave but i have a baby and im studying law as well which will last 2 years and really cant afford it. What would you do if it was you? I cry al the time and I think I'm depressed and losing hair all the time.
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2 Responses Jun 28, 2012

I feel for you. It sounds like you did things right and that you had good intentions etc etc. but that it just hasn't worked out for you. Sorry to hear that. <br />
Have you really tried to talk to your husband about this? <br />
Like not to just mention it in passing but to sit down and <br />
have a good heart to heart about this? Do you feel like you still love <br />
the guy. DO you feel like he loves you only that he is not affectionate <br />
enough? If you don't know then you should ask him. Ask him if he <br />
still loves you and then you should tell him how you feel about <br />
there not being enough love and affection in the marrage <br />
and then you should propose that he work on it. Or maybe the <br />
2 of you could consider counseling together. <br />
I believe that trying with extra effort to make it work is better <br />
then to just ditch the whole thing. SO talk to him about this <br />
and lay it on the line. Tell him that you are unhappy with the way <br />
it is going and so forth. Sometimes the other half just doesn't know. <br />
Now other than that > do you think there is anything else that <br />
could be going wrong in the marriage other than lack of closeness? <br />
do you think hes cheating? do you think he has personal issues <br />
like just doesn't know how to express love?? It could just be a <br />
personal issue with him that he just doesn't know how to be expressive <br />
in that way. so maybe he needs counseling and or some kind of other <br />
help. But the key is you need to address the whole issue with the guy <br />
in a real way. Like not just in passing but in a real sit down and <br />
have a real talk about it and tell him the whole issue and that <br />
you need for things to change. Communication is the key <br />
its a place to start. If he loves you he will consider what you have <br />
to say and try to work on this. <br />
good luck

There's such a difference between sex and intimacy, I too am in the same boat and because of children I can't leave (also I have strong beliefs too)......It's so so sad that we are young and can't expect to have long happy marriages but where do you go from here? I can't offer advice really because I am in the same situation but just know you're not the only one staying because you need to and not because of choice. I'm just sorry that it is this way......Stay positive and find some happiness in the situation. All the best