Newbie In A Unhappy Marriage

you have only one life enjoy yourself

keep your head up be strong

I too go through this. My husband of 13yrs doesn't drink everyday, but he is an alcoholic. He drinks maybe 5 times out of the year but when he does it's for days. The kids and I won't hear from him for about 5 days. My children are all under the age of 10 and I have total of 3. My unhappiness comes from his mood swings, even when he's not on one of his binges. He would be extremely MEAN to the kids and I over the smallest things that aren't even in are controll. I am the one who try's to keep everyone happy especially the kids. It's not all the time he acts this way, and to his diffence he is wonderful when himself. Everyone has bad days, but their is NO excuse to be not even rude but flat out disrespectful to your wife and kids. I feel nervous when he gets that way because I don't want him to go drink. He would use his bad day for an excuse. My youngest has Autism and that's a handful in its self. This isn't an every day matter, but a garenteed situation once or twice a week. I tired of walking on egg shells just to make my family happy. I took a vowl for better or worst, and I feel strongly for having my kids in a two parent home. I pray to god everyday to get whatever hate that is inhim out, and may only good come in. He is not physically abusive, slightly verbal but I would say more disrespectful than anything else. I am one who feels that you should be treated with the same respect that you give to others. Does anyone else have a similar situation as mine?

Some things are not fixable darling,its up to you to realise your safocating then get out or be killed,its like ahomophobic country i live in where every one wants to fix gay ppl make them straight,its insane,so most gays leave for abroad and some of us who stay wait to be killed each day,more than achoice its fate!Wake up,do somethng honey,

You've found a great place to be, sweetie. I'm so sorry your marriage isn't what you had hoped for, but there are many people here who will understand and be helpful to you. My disastrous, abusive marriage ended over 20 tears ago, after almost 15 years. I wish EP had been around then, because I would've been out much sooner. Best of luck to you, sweetie, and welcome to EP. (((((hugs)))))

Let me suggest Salvation Army drug and alcohol rehab program .6 months of residential can't leave building for 1st month then .. it is AA 12 steps with a lot of good stuff to make it committal for them.. he must accept his need or .. Court system steps in in domestic cases.. to order participating in it.. about 80 men are in it 80 beds now

I don't have much to do with it except my job .. i work with the men on a daily basis.. at a work site.. they have jobs there .. their co that they worked for must provide medical leave.. or.. the man just turns himself over to SA for rehab..

God, yes! Take my advice.GET OUT NOW! I am one of those who tried to fix someone unfixable for thirty years. He was not an alcoholic, but that would have been easier! Live your life. The one that makes you happy. And fulfilled. Rare is it that alcoholics change. My dad was one. And never stopped drinking until he was in his sixties and developed heart problems. Please for your sake get out. You do not mention children. Perhaps you have none. Alcoholism affects them too. I could tell you, but presently I am too exhausted to do so....Please get out. Love cannot change or cure alcoholism. Just advice from my experiences. Enormous hugs....

The longer you put up with emotional abuse, the more damage to your self-esteem and the harder it will be to walk away.

Damn, that is real unfortunate. Sorry about the whole thing. I can't imagine what it must be like, but I hope things get better in the near future. Good luck, all the best.