Depressing Marriage

I want to share my story. We met in third grade only briefly and then again in 7th. In 8th grade we started dating. She was quiet and shy and didn't talk about herself much. We had ups and downs and small breaks. By 11th grade we were much closer. Half way through our junior year we finally had sex and she got pregnant on the first time. We both went to a boarding school so we couldn't take care of the baby right away. After graduating I did what I felt was right and married her. My family and most people I held confidence in said that was the correct thing to do. I'm much older now and see the fault in their advice. I worked 2 jobs and attended school at the same time she did. I failed my second semester trying to balance it all. During this time I got to know my wife much better. She cleans nothing, she doesn't pick up after herself or the kids. I spent the first year trying to keep up but after a while just gave in. The house was always a mess toys everywhere, crumbs on the floor, it was at this point that I felt like my life was spiraling down. I became very depressed with my life. I dropped out of school and hopped from job to job constantly. We had our second child 3 years after the first. I have supported my wife for a long time trying to help her succeed. She graduated from college. Now the problem is I think I want to divorce her. I want to get my life back together and get some balance and structure. I don't want to make every single decision for her any longer.Am I a bad person to want to leave? At this point I feel just as bad as her. I can't get myself to clean the house anymore I just don't have the motivation. I want to just go back to college and take some time to focus on getting somewhere. I love my kids and will do what I can to spend time with them. Most likely if we divorce she will move back with her family thousands of miles away. I plan on moving closer to my kids after college so I can build my career close to my children. Both our family's are very poor as well, so moving with her after divorce is out of the question. Just need some advice.
ThatGuy1988 ThatGuy1988
22-25, M
1 Response Sep 10, 2012

Hey, I am sorry to hear what you are going thru. I have two questions: <br />
- Pretend your kids did not exist, what would change? Would you still be married? <br />
- What would your wife have to do to bring this relationship of your back to good terms?